The Hearts Path
by SavvySiberian
Summary: Years after the clow cards an accident destroys Sakura’s life, tearing everyone apart. The road to recovery isn’t an easy path to follow. (S+S)
1. Default Chapter

Desperation @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

The Hearts Path

By LeoAngel

Authors notes: Just so you know there will be probably a lot of flashbacks in dreams and stuff. So you might get confused but all will be explained in time. Most of this takes place 13 years after the whole clow advantage.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Cardcaptor characters so don't sue you wont get much. 

Parting is worse than death; it is the death of love. (Quote by unknown)

"Sakura-chan please open up!" Kero pleaded from one side of the door. He had an ear up to it and could hear the quiet sobs from the other side. She had been there nearly two days now and showed no signs of coming out. Kero was getting desperate enough to even consider calling the gaki over. That would just ruin his pride completely, but the sight of his mistress in distress was eating him apart. He would do anything for her even if it meant his pride being crumpled into pieces. As much as he hated to admit it the gaki made her happy. If anybody could figure out what was wrong with her it would be him. Kero just wished he knew what had made her so upset in the first place. She had come home her usually happy self. She even brought him home some extra pudding. Then the phone rung and she picked it up. Kero had been happily gabbling down his pudding when he saw his mistresses deadly pale face. He immediately become worried as she dropped the phone and ran into the bathroom. Where she had stayed since that phone call. 

"Sakura if you don't let me in I'm going to knock down the door." Kero stated in frustration. He wanted to help but she wouldn't let him. Kero sighed heavily what use was changing into his true form and destroying the door. She needed comforting… comforting that he couldn't provide. So he did the only thing he could think of. He quickly fluttered in the direction of the gaki's house.

Sakura sat in the bathroom with her knees brought up to her chest. She hugged them tightly burying her head in her knees. She was cold, no make that freezing. Her body shivered violently all over, nothing being able to calm her.She tried desperately to make the pain in her chest stop. Everything was spinning around the room; nausea took over as she let what little food she had in her out. New tears fluttered down the path of dried ones. The pain was unbearable; it hurt more than anything had ever before. She had been in there for nearly two days and planned on never coming out. The hungriness that should have come didn't, the pain obviously drowning it out.

"Sakura?" She didn't need to open the door to know whose voice that was. "Sakura… please hun open the door." His tone of voice was that of pleading and despair. She could tell he was trying to hide the worry in his voice. Nonetheless, she couldn't get herself to the door to let him in. He felt miles away even if he was just a few feet. 

"She wouldn't open it for me either." Kero sighed sitting wearily on Syaoran's shoulder. 

"What happened?" He asked harshly. He knew he shouldn't blame the little yellow stuffed animal, but he couldn't help it. His cherry blossom was completely devastated and he had no idea why. Being nice to the guardian beast of the seal was the last thing on his mind. Kero ignored the tone knowing better than to start a fight at this point and time. After all he was grateful Syaoran had come so quickly. 

"I honestly don't know….. she got a phone call that upset her…. I don't know who it was." Kero explained what he hadn't had time to before. He had rushed into Syaoran's apartment saying Sakura needed his help. Immediately Syaoran had run out of his apartment without another thought. 

"Sakura please its Syaoran." He tried again but knew it was useless. After a few more minutes of nothing but quiet sobbing Syaoran couldn't stand it anymore. "Back away." He stated to his yellow companion. Kero flew off his shoulder and landed on the couch a few feet away. "Sakura I'm going to come in ok?" After hearing no protest he swiftly knocked the door down with one kick. Syaoran's heart crumpled as he saw his cherry blossom curled up in the corner of the room. He quickly rushed to her side wrapping his arms around her. She let herself be taken into his arms and pulled into his lap. She buried her face in his chest and started to sob. He held her closely to himself trying to warm her freezing body."Shhhhh its ok." His voice soothed, he ran his hands up and down her back. Her sobs lessoned as he continued to comfort her. When she seemed to finally be calm enough he picked her up in his arms and brought her to the living room. She still clutched onto him as he sat down, but than again he didn't let go of her either. "What happened?" He asked gently. She pulled back a little her emerald eyes meeting his amber ones for the first time that day. He could see the pain clearly in those green orbs. It hurt him but he remained silent waiting for her to explain.

"They they are gone…. Dad Touya… they are gone." Sakura replied each word more painful than the one before. "I'm alone so….. alone." She cried pulling away from Syaoran. She wrapped her arms around her body in a lame attempt to comfort herself. 

"Your not alone…. I'm here and I will always be by your side. I love you… you know that." Syaoran promised. Sakura nodded hesitantly letting him pull her back into his embrace. "I promise I'll always be there." 

*************************************************************************************************

Sakura woke up gasping for breath. She blinked several times trying to figure out her surrounds. Realization hit her, she was in her small apartment located in New York City. 

"Damit another dream!" She exclaimed throwing her pillow against the wall in frustration. "Why won't they leave me alone its been seven years for god sakes!?" She had been having these nightmares of the past since…. forever.She could no longer remember a time when she got a full nights rest. It seemed she relived those horrible past events every single time she closed her eyes. And every time she got some "rest" she would be more tired than the day before. It was really getting to her she felt awful and knew she looked even worse. 

"I just want to forget… I don't wanna remember all this pain…. Those stupid promises…. All broken." She mumbled sadly remembering that scene as if it where yesterday. Syaoran-chan had promised to be by her side forever, but he wasn't here. "You lied!" She exclaimed bitterly letting a few tears glisten her eyes. She quickly pushed them away how could she be mad at Syaoran it wasn't his fault. No she could never blame him… there was no one to blame but herself. If only she had gone slower than he would be by her side. Sakura shook her head trying to clear the thoughts out of her mind. Sitting around doing this wouldn't bring him back. She glanced at the clock noticing she had slept past noon. "You'd think I would feel refreshed after sleeping so much sleep."Hastily Sakura threw the covers off herself and walked into the bathroom. She glanced at the girl that stood in front of her in the mirror. She could barely recognize herself from her younger dream version. Sakura had changed greatly and mostly for the worse. Her hair was much longer falling a bit lower than her shoulders. It still held its color but even her hair seemed to have faded. Her emerald eyes had lost its innocence and joy for life. It was replaced with sadness and pain. You could clearly make out dark circles underneath her eyes. Most likely from the lack of sleep she was getting. Sakura sighed deeply looking at her slim form. She knew she was dangerously underweight but most of the time she wasn't hungry. Either that or she was to tired to get herself a decent meal. 

"God I look awful." She stated turning on the water to take a nice long shower. She let it warm up than carefully jumped in. It was funny the shower seemed to be the only place that relaxed her. She loved the feel of the water running down her body. It was the most soothing she had in her life right now. But it all ended to soon as the water started to get colder, the hot water obviously running out. She got out than dressed in her work cloths. "I'm going to be late." Sakura muttered looking at her watch. That was one thing that hadn't changed from her younger days. No matter what she never seemed to be able to get anywhere on time. Not that she cared or it mattered, nothing mattered anymore. She quickly threw on her shoes deciding it would be best to try and keep this job. She walked out the door dreading going threw another day. 

"Hey Sakura!" Tomoyo greeted enthusiastically as she walked in. Both Sakura and Tomoyo worked as waitresses at Blinkers. Tomoyo only worked part time though since she had persuaded her career in designing. It had gone quite well for her infact. Tomoyo didn't even need to work here but she did. Only because Sakura did and it seemed to be the only time she could spend with her friend. "Another sleepless night?" Tomoyo questioned in a worried tone seeing how tired her friend was. Sakura only nodded in return. She honestly didn't feel like talking not that that was anything new. Tomoyo had come accustomed to it. In fact she was lucky if Sakura said two words to her all day. So Tomoyo usually kept the conversations going while Sakura nodded in return. "Sakura… It's been seven years since Fujitaka and… Touya… and … and one since… Syaoran and…." Tomoyo stated a bit hesitantly. Every time this was brought up they ALWAYS ended up arguing. She didn't even know why she tried anymore. Wait yes she did it was because she loved Sakura. It hurt so much to see her friend in such a life style. Sakura was unhappy all the time she just wished she could let go. 

"I'm fine really. I've gotten use to the dreams Tomoyo really." Sakura replied reassuringly knowing she wouldn't get out of this one with a nod. 

"That's just it! You shouldn't have to get use to them! You shouldn't have to deal with them! For crist sake Sakura you've got to move on!" Tomoyo exclaimed getting frustrated. 

"Just leave me alone!" Sakura replied walking away from Tomoyo. 

"Great that's just great another day of Sakura ignoring you… Nice going Tomoyo."

*************************************************************************************************

Leena stood in the doorway of her brother's room. Unnoticed to him yet that she was there. You could easily sneak up on him when he was deep in thought. Which he seemed to be in more and more often. She squinted to see what he was looking at. He had two pieces of paper in his hands. One Leena could make out was a copy of an invitation to Meirin' s and his wedding. She could clearly see the pain in his amber eyes.

"Poor Xiao Lang…" She sighed sadly. Her brother was unhappy and that made herself unhappy two. They had both been close since forever. It made her angry what their mother was doing to her little brother. Just because he was suppose to be the dam Li Clan Leader, but that gave her no right. After the accident poor Xiao Lang had been left without memories of the past. Well he had a few… such as he knew he had been studying to be doctor and everything he learned. But didn't know what college he had been or where he lived. He didn't remember anything… or anyone specific that he was with. So Li-san had torn him away from the people that loved him most. What was worse he didn't even know that he had a family out there. A true family, which was something he could basically never get here. The Li clan was basically all about how much power you had and could get. Not many of them where truthful and even liked anybody else. It just wasn't fair he didn't even remember his love in Japan. Infact 18 years of his life was missing replaced by training or some crap that their mother had made up. She herself would have told Xiao Lang about his past if their mother hadn't forbidden it. Punishment for telling him would be unbearable both Li-san and the elders would carry it out. She was ashamed at herself for not telling him. It made her feel just like the rest of them… But times like these she would almost give in and tell him everything. She had always given little hints, which she was pretty sure he caught onto. Although they seemed to just confuse him more. 

Xiao Lang stared at the sheets in his hand. They where two paths that he could choice for his future. The question was which one was right. He could either stay here in Hong Kong with his family…. and marry Meirin. He knew from the start that marrying Meirin was a huge mistake. He didn't love her that was for sure. Well at least not the way he was suppose to, something inside of him kept telling him not to. That there is someone else out there that needs him as badly as he needs her. His chest always hurt as if his heart had been ripped out. He often wondered what his life had been like before the accident. Sure his mother had told him about stuff, but somehow he couldn't shake the feeling that she was lying to him. Plus the fact that his sisters where always hinting at something didn't help. 

"But why would she lie to me?" He asked himself confused. 

"Maybe you had something out there better than here." Leena stated from the doorway. Xiao Lang jumped up in complete shock. He had been training for a long time… he should have known she was there. That was another thing he remembered training for a while… but than it just went all blank… why didn't he remember after that? 

"Leena… what what are you doing?" He stuttered shoving the papers in his desk draw. He couldn't let anybody see his other choice. When he first heard of his marriage to Meirin he had immediately felt wrong. He had applied to some places out of the country to work as a doctor. And he finally got a letter back saying they would accept him. This could be his way out and he didn't want anybody to know. 

"I was just passing by." Leena replied. 

"What do you mean?… Something else better?" Xiao Lang asked knowing whatever she said always had meaning. Unlike his other three crazy sisters. 

"I would tell you if I could….. But you know I can't… Your smart…….. I know you have figured out that something is missing." 

"Yes… I know she's been lying to me…. And won't let you guys tell me… and I won't push you for it. I don't want you in trouble. I I can't push her for it either… She'll deny it than I'll be worse off than when I started. Its just so frustrating I know there's something missing but no matter how hard I try I can't remember what." He sighed in frustration. 

"I'm sorry…. Listen think carefully about this and with whatever you decide I am behind you 100%. Don't think about anybody else for once be selfish. Follow your heart it will lead the way. This will probably be the hardest task of your life, but don't ever give up." Leena encouraged. 

"Thank you Leena… Thank you." He hugged her tightly. Something rarely done since showing emotion was considered a sign of weakness. A sense of sadness waved over Leena. She knew he decided he would leave, now that it was conformed there was something out there waiting for him. She would miss him but if he was happy than she was. 

"Good luck little brother. Get some rest…. I suspect you'll have a lot of traveling to do." With that Leena left the room knowing he probably wouldn't be there when she returned. 

"Goodbye sister and thank you." Xiao Lang pulled out a suitcase immediately and started packing. He was going to get out of here first thing. The sooner he left the better. He didn't want anything to ruin this.

Ok hope you enjoyed it so far. I know I'm not too good with spelling and grammar. Sorry about that but its just not one of my strong points. Please review and keep in mind this is my first CardCaptor Sakura fanfic. I haven't even seen all of the episodes but I know mostly what happens. Thanks for read!

~~LeoAngel~~


	2. My Heart Cries

Authors notes: Ok let me just explain how I am going to use the names in this story @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Authors notes: Ok let me just explain how I am going to use the names in this story. In Japan Sakura was known as obviously Sakura Kimonoto. Than when she and Syaoran got married she became Sakura Li. When the "accident" occurred and she moved to New York she could no longer hold onto that name. She felt wrong about going back to kimonoto so she changed it completely. Now don't kill me here because I really don't like the American version of CardCaptor Sakura. But I'm going to have her be Sakura Avalon in New York. Ok now to deal with Syaoran. Dam he has so many versions to his name. Well to Sakura he is known as Syaoran. Than in china with his "family" he is known as Xiao Lang. When he moves to New York he decides to change his name (for reasons that will be explained) to Shaoran (if I spelt that wrong let me know and I'll change it.) Ok well sorry for all this confusion and I hope that clears everything up. 

**"... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."**

**~Gretchen Kemp~ **

"Sakura please I'm sorry." Tomoyo apologized trying to catch up to Sakura's retreating form. Sakura stopped knowing Tomoyo wouldn't just leave her alone until they made things right between them. She had been lucky enough to avoid her most of the day. Thanks to the millions of demanding customers. She was thankful for the lack of uncomfortable conversation she didn't have to keep up. Sakura sighed deeply a chill running up her back. She glanced upwards looking at the dark rain clouds. They produced gallows of heavy rain. The droplets stung slightly as they hit Sakura's delicate skin. Only idiots would be outside in this type of weather. Sakura's wet hair clung limply to her face while her cloths molded her underweight body. Tomoyo jumped as lightening lit up the sky followed by a huge blast of thunder. "Lets go inside." Tomoyo stated grabbing her friend's wrist and pulling her into the nearest coffee shop. Tomoyo continued to drag her friend tell they got to a booth. Sakura sat down hesitantly wishing to dash out the door. She knew this would probably end up in another fight and she was really too tired for this. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt anybody especially Tomoyo. No one seem to get the hint, all she wanted was to be left alone. The silence was deafening to Tomoyo but she didn't know how to break the ice. 

"I'm really sorry. I know it's a hard topic…. I just worry about you." Tomoyo again apologized holding back some tears. She hated being in fights, which seemed to happen more and more often. Sakura sighed inwardly and gave her friend a gentle half smile. It was a forced one not like the smiles that had once lit up the whole world. Despite that fact Tomoyo felt relieved to see it there. Even if it were only so she would calm down. 

"Don't worry Tomoyo I'm not mad at you……. And I'm sorry for snapping at you. Lets just forget this day ever happen." Sakura replied reassuring that she wasn't mad. She nodded in return not sure if she should ask this next question. It would possible lead to another fight but she needed to ask it. 

"Sakura-chan if I ask you a question do you promise not to get mad?" Tomoyo asked hesitantly. 

"It depends on the question Tomoyo….." Sakura replied all she wanted to do at the moment was go home and fall onto her bed. She really didn't want sleep to overcome her the dreams would just taunt her more. Making her even more tired than she was now. Though she wasn't even sure that was possible.

"Please just hear me out…. Don't just say no at least consider it….." Tomoyo started suddenly losing the courage to continue. 

"Well…" Sakura urged knowing she wasn't going to like this, but it was better to get it over with. 

"Well Sakura……. Kero-chan really really misses you…….. I know you are trying to protect him but really you are hurting him more……. Would you just consider letting him live with you again?" Tomoyo asked her voice barely audible. Kero was now living with her an absolutely miserable. He hadn't exactly asked Tomoyo to talk to Sakura for him, but she knew he wanted to be with the clow mistress. He just was to hurt to ask… he didn't want to be an inconvience. Sakura sighed deeply. They just didn't seem to understand. Anybody who lived with her had gotten themselves killed. She was trying to protect Kero…… and she guessed herself. She didn't want to become attached to anybody else. Whenever she did it always ended up in pain. So she had pushed both Kero and Tomoyo as far away from her as possible. Despite that Tomoyo had refused to back down on their friendship. There wasn't much Sakura could really do. "Please will you just consider it…. He misses you so much." Tomoyo begged. Sakura nodded in return. She would truly think about it. Despite everything she missed the little ball of fluff just as much as he probably missed her. Perhaps she could get up the courage to let him back into her life. Tomoyo smiled grateful that her friend hadn't just blown her off. She knew that Sakura didn't mean to hurt herself or Kero but she did anyways. Every single time she tried to put distance between them it hurt like a million knives piercing the heart. Although Tomoyo wasn't sure she could really blame Sakura. She had been through so much pain, Tomoyo didn't know how herself would react to everything if she were in her shoes. 

"Hey Sakura let me treat you to dinner please?" Tomoyo requested looking over Sakura's slim form. She knew her friend was deadly tired and would never make herself a healthy meal.

"No thanks Tomoyo I'm really tired…… I'll just eat at home." Sakura replied pulling on her coat. 

"No you won't you'll go home and eat nothing just like every other night. Look at yourself your so thin!" Tomoyo exclaimed letting her frustration get the better of her. Sakura let it go though not wanting to upset her friend again. Tomoyo always meant well. 

"I promise to eat something ok……." Sakura answered reassuringly.

"Promise?" Tomoyo asked in defeat. 

"Yes. See you tomorrow." And with that Sakura ran across the street. She was glad she was close to home. The storm had gotten considerable worse since she had been out before. She fumbled with her keys finally getting it into the lock of her apartment. She hastily walked in closing the door behind her. Sighing she flapped down on to the couch exhaustingly. Her eyes instantly closed begging for sleep to overcome her. But the sound of her stomach growling wouldn't allow it. 

"I guess I should eat something…." Sakura stated trying to gather the energy to get up. She walked over to the cabinets in search of some food. Unfortunately for her she had neglected to go grocery shopping in how long she didn't remember. She was always too tired or busy. Nothing but spider webs and a few old snacks lined her cabinets. Deciding she didn't want to break her promise to Tomoyo she grabbed a fruit bar and took a few nibbles out of it. Surprisingly it wasn't to bad considering it was probably a few months old. But than again anything would have been good at this point and time. Sakura shivered realizing she was still in wet cloths. She walked into her bedroom and searched her draws for something comfortable to wear. She pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a green t-shirt. She stared at the cloths letting a few tears escaped her eyes. It wasn't hers….. How long had it been there? She thought she had put what little she had of his away. She sniffled into the shirt pulling it closer to her. His scent was still on it after all that time. She closed her eyes trying to fight the tears. Past events invaded her mind bringing her into the past.

*************************************************************************************************

Syaoran sighed deeply as urgent knocking was heard from the other side of the door. He hadn't been expecting anyone. Probably just some sales person…. Although they would be pretty stupid to be out in this weather. Syaoran glanced out the window. It was raining like there was no tomorrow. Thunder and lightening cascading the darkening sky. More knocking brought him out of his thoughts. He quickly opened the door to find a soggy Sakura on the other side. They stayed that way staring at each other for a good five minutes. Even in her drenched form she looked more stunning than ever. Syaoran was kind of surprised to see his girlfriend infront of him. Although he really didn't know why it shocked him anymore. She seemed to be at his apartment more than anyplace else. Not that he minded mind you. No spending time with her was what he lived for each day. He couldn't think of getting threw a day without her by his side. That would just be complete torture. 

"So are you going to make me stand her all soaken wet all night?" Sakura asked jokingly. 

"Hmmm if I let you in my girlfriend might get jealous." He replied in the same jokingly tone. 

"Hmmm your right I wouldn't want to put you in that kind of position." Sakura replied shivering a bit from the coldness of the hall wall. She turned around in a movement that said she was leaving. Syaoran laughed slightly sliding his arms around her waist. He brought her back towards him pulling her body against his chest. They molded together perfectly as if they where made for each other. Like they where two pieces of a whole that needed each other to exists, which Syaoran completely believed this theory. Her soft slickly skin felt cold against his, obviously from being out in the rain. He ran his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm them. She shuttered at the pure joy of his touch. 

"Glad I know I can trust you so much… Just pulling a random girl into your arms." She murmured sarcastically. 

"Well your no random girl now are you my Ying Fa." Syaoran stated pulling his cherry blossom in his apartment and shutting the door behind them. The warmth of his apartment surrounded Sakura instantly comforting her. She loved it here more than any other place on earth. His magical scent was all over the place. It filled her senses sending a feeling of pure contentment in her. She suddenly was pulled out of her thoughts his soft lips gracing her ear. Shivers of joy ran up and down her spine.

"Aishiteru my little wolf." Sakura whispered running her hands threw his hair. She loved the feel of his soft silky hair. She could never get enough of him. 

"Aishiteru my cherry blossom." He whispered back claiming her lips as his. Syaoran ran his hands along the smooth skin of her lower back as she deepened the kiss. Suddenly the two lost balance falling onto the couch. Sakura giggle as she landed on her love. He grunted in mock pain pulling her closer to him. "Your all wet…." Syaoran stated pulling back a little from Sakura. His cloths where now almost as wet as hers. In the heat of the moment he had completely forgotten she had just come from a thunderstorm.

"Hmph thanks for reminding me I had forgotten with the your warmth." She giggled nuzzling his nose with hers. He wiggled out from underneath her getting up from the couch. Before he could make it she grabbed his wrist pulling him back. She wrapped her arms tightly around him clearly stated she did not want him to move. 

"So what you want to sit here soaked all night?" He questioned raising an eyebrow. 

"No I suppose not…. But you're so warm." She sighed burying her head in the croak of his neck. Her lips sought out his skin making goosebumps appear on him. He kissed the top of her head tangling his fingers threw her soft hair. 

"You'll catch a cold if you stay in those cloths… I'll get us some dry ones than we can continue." With that he successfully pulled away from her. Sakura wrapped her own arms around her body it was cold without him to warm her. After a few minutes of going threw his draws Syaoran came up with a green shirt and sweatpants for his Sakura. These where once his, but Sakura had claimed them as her own. He didn't mind though she looked adorable in the overgrown t-shirt. 

"Here put these on." Sakura smiled at the cloths he handed her. She loved these more than anything she owned herself. "Need any help?" Syaoran asked as Sakura got up and headed for the bathroom. 

"You wish little wolf you wish." With that the two got changed. In different rooms of course, much to Syaoran's dismay. 

*************************************************************************************************

Sakura no longer tried to push back the tears that came to her. That night had been nothing but pure magic. She often wondered if she was perhaps greedy. There had been many magical moments such as these. Was it wrong for not wanting it to end? For wanting more? She let her tears trickle down her pale cheeks without protest. She no longer had the strength to even change out of her wet cloths. So she just curled up pulling her knees close to her chest. Her head buried into the shirt trying to get as much of the scent as possible. 

"Aishiteru Syaoran…. Always." 

*************************************************************************************************

Xiao Lang let the suitcases in his hands drop to the floor. They where extremely heavy especially after an hour of trying to find a place to stay. His arms felt like falling off from carrying them for so long. Despite the largeness of New York he had had a hell of a time trying to find a vacant hotel. He hadn't had time to search for apartments before he left Hong Kong. So he planed on living in a hotel until he found a place. Money wasn't too much of a problem; he had taken his share of the money. Which he could probably live on tell he died. It was only a pin drop in the Li-Clan account they wouldn't miss it. He would live off of it tell he got his job going than he'd only use it for emergencies. Xiao Lang didn't want to live off anybody else. 

Xiao Lang shivered his wet cloths clinging to his body. New York was an extremely cold place. It was near December and absolutely freezing out. When he arrived it had been down poring. He knew it would only be a few days before the first sight of snow. It would take a while to get use to this place. He was glad he knew how to speak English, this would obvious help him out a lot. Xiao Lang sat down on the couch heavily. His trip had been extremely tiring he knew he must look really awful. He closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision. His eyes just kept blurring obviously demanding sleep. Suddenly his senses where filled with a strong sensation. It was different from anything he had felt before but also felt familiar. Like he should know what it was but didn't. Whatever this feeling was it felt good, it wrapped itself around him soothing his senses. He knew that moving here was the right course of action. A huge yawn escaped his lips as the feeling suppressed itself. He decided that he needed to get some rest. He had a big day tomorrow and he wanted to make a good impression.

*************************************************************************************************

Xiao Lang woke up the next morning to an alarm clock. After a few minutes of the annoying ringing he finally got enough strength to shut the dam thing off. He rubbed his eyes seeing it was around 5:00am. He had to get up now if he wanted to make it on time to work. Xiao Lang got up and headed into the bathroom. After an hour Xiao Lang was finally ready. He waved down a cab and told the guy the directions. Within a half hour he reached his destination. Xiao Lang stared at the paper in his hand. It told him to meet up with a doctor Thomson.

"Easier said than done." He muttered walking around the busy hospital completely lost. He once again glanced down at the paper that told him where to report.

"Why is everything so confusing?" He questioned to no one in particular. Suddenly he collided into something hard, and fell to the cold hard floor. After a moment of being stun he saw a person to his side obviously the thing he had knocked into. He appeared to be a doctor with his white coat and about a million patient files. He had blonde hair obviously bleached that was spiked upwards strangely. He seemed to be maybe a year or two older than Xiao Lang.

"I'm sorry here let me help you." Xiao Lang stated starting to pick up the papers that the man had dropped. The doctor seemed to notice him for the first time. He gasped in shock dropping the rest of his folders. Xiao Lang eyed him trying to decide what had made him react that way. The doctor couldn't move shock overcoming his limps. He felt faint as his mind clouded 

***********************************************************************************************

"I can't believe I'm hearing this? You want me to tell a woman who was just in a terrible accident… that possible will never be able to walk again…. You want me to tell her that her husbands dead? When he is alive and will be fine in a matter of weeks!"The doctor asked in shock at what the woman was asking him to do. 

"Xiao Lang is needed at home but he'll never leave with his thought corrupted by that girl. I have been waiting a long time for something like this to happen. This is the perfect time to bring him back." Li-san explained as if she where talking to a child. 

"I won't do it! What made you even think I would consider it. I could never tell that girl that her husband is dead. I would never be able to live with myself. She has suffered so much its obvious that the two love each other. Perhaps you should think about what your son wants. He obviously doesn't want to return home. You can't force him." The doctor replied back trying to reason with the woman. 

"I will do whatever I want……." Li-san answered simply pausing before going on, "Do you like your job doctor?" She questioned. The man's heart started to ach. He knew this woman had a lot of power just how much he was unsure of. 

"Of course I do!" He replied dreading at what she was hinting at. 

"Well if that is so than I suggest you do what I ask. If not I will make sure you are fired and NEVER hired in another hospital. I am a very powerful woman I can make your life miserable. I would think you'd rather have me as an ally rather than an enemy." Li-san stated using her position to its fullest power. The man gritted his teeth clutching his fist tightly. He cursed mentally as blood seeped from his hands. "Do we have an understanding?" Li-san asked smiling inwardly in victory. She knew she had him right where she wanted him. After a few moments of unbearable silence the doctor nodded his head gravely. He loved his job more than anything, infact his job was his whole life. He had no doubt that Li-san could do what she claimed. If he lost this job he would have nothing. Li-san nodded a small smile playing her lips. 

"I will gather up my son and bring him back home….. Take care of things here."

"You know his amnesia is only temporary. That I am almost certain of. One of these days he is going to wake up and realize what he had. Than whatever love he had for you would disappear. Whatever hope of him staying at his "home" would be gone. I think in the long run you are just making it worse for yourself." The doctor warned. 

"Don't worry I will deal with his amnesia I have something that will help me there. Thank you for your concern anyways." With that Li-san left. The man sighed heavily trying to prepare himself for what he had to do.

*************************************************************************************************

"Are you ok?" Xiao Lang questioned bringing the doctor out of his thoughts.

"Ye.. yes." He stuttered nervously.

~Oh my god its him! It's him! God I moved to New York in hopes that I could leave my past behind. In hopes that I could get rid of all the guilt of ruining two peoples lives. How could I have ever been so greedy? I should have never agreed to do what that bitch wanted no matter what the costs. Now he remembers and is going to kill me! ~

"Are you sure?" Xiao Lang asked seeing the man's pale face. Its as if he saw a ghost. 

"Yes sorry bout that I just… umm got distracted." He replied looking away from his eyes. He couldn't look into them without a huge amount of guilt to go threw him. What the doctor didn't understand though was why he made no move to kill him. Perhaps it was because he wanted to make the death slow and painful. Or maybe it was just to crowd. 

"Hey do you know where I could find a Doctor Thomson?" Xiao Lang asked picking himself up. He figured he mine as well ask rather than walk around blindly all day. 

"Umm yea that's me…" The young blonde replied confused. ~Did he not recognize me… Wait how could he? He was never conscious when I took care of him. He must have gotten my name from Li-san so that he could kill me. ~ 

"Oh good I've been looking all over. I'm Shaoran the new doctor here……" Xiao Lang explained he had decided it'd be better to change his name. He was pretty sure his family wouldn't be able to find him, but he never knew with them. He would rather be safe than sorry. 

"Shaoran???" The doctor questioned now even more confused than ever. Perhaps this was not the same man. He knew his name was Syaoran or Xiao Lang in Chinese…. But if it wasn't than they had to be brothers or something. 

"Chris Thomson. I guess we will be working together for a while." Chris held his hand out to Xiao Lang. He shuttered at the thought of being near him all the time at work. He didn't know if the guilt inside of him could stand it. This was obviously a different person or he didn't remember who he was. The second part seemed to be more likely

"Guess so…" Xiao Lang replied not sure about this new guy. He seemed to be nervous as if he had something to hide. Than again most people had something to hide. 

"So umm I guess I should help you get settled in. Come on I'll show you around." With that Chris headed in the opposite direction that he had originally been going. Xiao Lang sighed following the doctor to start his new life. 

Ok well the end of part 2. I know I made Syaoran's mother into somewhat of a mean person. I have no idea what she is like (or his sisters). Like I said before I haven't seen all of the episodes and I don't know if she appears in any of them. But I had to make her this way for the story. She does have her reasons though, even if they aren't very good. She does care for Syaoran in her own strange way. Well Hope you enjoyed it please review.

~~LeoAngel~~


	3. Coincidence or fate

Authors notes: First off I have a question @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } A:link { color blue; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single } SPAN.MsoHyperlink { color blue; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single } A:visited { color purple; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single } SPAN.MsoHyperlinkFollowed { color purple; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Authors notes: First off I have a question? Ok I remember watching Cardcaptors and Meirin was complaining about the cold. Does it snow in Hong kong? Let me know thanx. Ok now for Jade's question yes Sakura and Syaoran where married before. Thanks Fabi-chan for telling me about Syaoran's mother and sisters. I haven't seen the first movie only the second one. I'm just going to make up their names though it's easier. Anyways thanks all who read and reviewed. Please do so again! Hope you like.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."  
-- Helen Keller

"Hey Shoaran we can take our break now." Chris stated after putting down one of the patients charts. It had been a busy first day and Xiao Lang greeted the break with joy. "You look like you could use some coffee I'll go get some for us." Chris offered not waiting for a reply. Xiao Lang eyed a newspaper a few inches away from him. He picked it up deciding now was as good a time to look for an apartment as any. After several minutes of his search he become frustrated. There seemed to be absolutely nothing in New York that interested him. He didn't know why he was being so picky but nothing seemed to feel right. Finding an apartment was going to be considerable harder than he first imagine. 

"What you looking for?" Chris questioned sitting down infront of Xiao Lang. He placed the two coffee's down onto the table. 

"An apartment I'm staying in a hotel tell I find something." Xiao Lang replied sighing. Chris took this as a sign that he wasn't having any luck. He bit his lip running a hand threw his blonde hair. He wondered if he would regret this next move. Over the short few hours the two guys had known each other Chris had take a liking to Xiao Lang. He felt even more horrible than before, he was 99 percent sure this was the same person. Chris had managed to get a little information about his past from him. But it wasn't the easiest task. It seemed Xiao Lang wanted to keep his past exactly that, the past. 

"Why don't you come live in my apartment?" Chris suggested as Xiao Lang threw the paper down giving up. 

"I couldn't do that you've already done so much for me." He replied a little stunned by this offer. Chris was an extremely nice person and despite Xiao Lang's efforts to stay his usually cold self he had warmed up to blonde haired doctor. 

"Its no problem really. My last roommate actually got transferred and had to move out. I was going to put an add in the paper about it this weekend. This would be so much better. I mean I don't have to worry about meeting my new roommate again. It's really a win win situation. Unless you see something better in there." Chris explained. Xiao Lang thought it over for a few minutes finding no reason not to accept. 

"Well if you don't mind than I guess why not."

"Great I'll help you move in tonight and I can show around town a bit." Chris exclaimed his blue eyes shining brightly.

"Sounds good to me." The two sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Chris decided that he couldn't take it anymore. If he didn't tell Syaoran about what he did to him in the past he was going to explode. Even if the consequence was loosing a good friend. It would only be worse when it came out later. And he knew it would anything like this always came out in the end. 

"Ummm…. Shaoran….. I ummm have umm something to tell you." Chris stuttered shifting his gaze to the floor. 

"What is it?" Xiao Lang asked eyeing his friend.... why had he all of a sudden got all nervous. 

"Well you see… I umm haven't always lived in New York you know……" A ringing noise interrupted Chris. He cursed mentally not knowing if he would ever get his courage worked up as he had now. Chris pulled out his cell phone hitting the on button. 

"Chris here." He stated into the phone a little irritable.

"Hey you." A woman's voice on the other side replied. Xiao Lang noticed Chris immediately relaxed and lost his flustered look. Instead a big smile decided to display itself on his friends face. 

"Tomoyo-chan what a pleasant surprise." Chris greeted hapily.

"Hmmm I miss you." Tomoyo sighed dreamily.

"I know I know." He replied laughing.

"Chris! That's not suppose to be your reply! Hmph you're going to get it later." 

"Kidding kidding of course I miss you." 

"So are we still on for tonight?' Tomoyo questioned eager about their date. Chris looked back to his new roommate than to his phone. ~Dam double booked… hmm I can deal with this.~ 

"Actually Tomoyo I got a new roommate and I'm going to be showing him around. But you can come after all you know all the cool places around. Plus you could ahem bring one of your girlfriends along with you." Tomoyo thought for a moment before sighing. She had wanted to spend a romantic night alone with Chris, but she suppose this was better than nothing. Both their schedules where so busy that they barely got to see each other anymore. Although this could finally be the perfect excuse to get Sakura out of her apartment. Something she had been looking to do. Whether Sakura liked it or not it was time to get back up on the horse.

"That's fine… perhaps I can persuade Sakura-chan to come along. I have been desperately wanting you to meet her." Tomoyo replied excitedly. 

"Well if anybody can do it its you hun. Listen my breaks almost up but we'll meet you at Blinkers around 7."

"Alright Love you." 

"Love you two." After her heard the dial tone he placed his phone back into his pocket. 

"You know if you have plans that's ok I can stay at the apartment." Xiao Lang stated feeling like he was interrupting something. 

"Don't be silly you just have to meet my girl." Chris replied. 

"What was her name again?" Xiao Lang wondered out loud. He hadn't quite caught it the first time he said it. 

"Daidouji Tomoyo." Chris answered pulling out his wallet. 

~Why did that name sound so familiar could she be a missing link in my past…. But was I ever in New York… But that name isn't exactly the average New York name. Why do I suddenly have this image of a lavender haired girl with a camera in her hands?~ Thoughts such as these ran threw Xiao Lang's mind. His mind was so cluttered his head started to hurt.

"This is her." Chris took out a wallet size photo of his girlfriend. Xiao Lang gasped in surprise she looked like the girl he had just imagine. This was getting more confusing by the minute. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. 

"Oh umm what where you saying before we where interrupted by your phone?" Xiao Lang asked curiosity peaking his interest. Whatever it was it had to be important or Chris wouldn't have acted like that. 

"Oh ummm well its nothing." Chris replied losing his courage…. ~I'll tell him after tonight~ He stated in his mind forcefully. "Well let's get to work so we can get out of here early." With that the two headed back to their jobs. 

************************************************************************************************* 

A few hours later Tomoyo sighed wearily. It was almost six and she still hadn't had time to ask Sakura about tonight. They had had an unexpected million people show up tonight. Every time either of them got a spare moment it was quickly taken away. Finally the crowd was starting to die down. Tomoyo took advantage of this and quickly grabbed her friend's wrist. Sakura had no time to protest as Tomoyo pushed her into the back room. 

"What is it?" Sakura asked harshly reclaiming her wrist. She leaned against the wall the mass of people had tired Sakura out even more than before, She looked like hell. 

"Well you know my boyfriend Chris?" Tomoyo started Sakura nodded wondering where this was going. "Well you see I really really want you to meet. So you see I thought that we could go out to dinner or a club or something tonight." Tomoyo suggested purposely leaving out the part about another person accompanying her boyfriend. Sakura would have immediately thought of it as some kind of set for the two of them. Then she would never even consider going out. But what Sakura didn't know wouldn't hurt her. 

"Oh Tomoyo but I'm so tired we have had a rough day can't it be another day." Sakura whined to tired to put up her normal cold act. She rubbed her eyes trying to get them to focus. Why couldn't she ever get a good nights sleep. What she wouldn't give for just ONE full nights sleep. 

"I know but this is really really really important Sakura…. Pleaaaase. I won't bug you for a whole week!" Tomoyo exclaimed making her best puppy face. That promise would never go threw Sakura thought knowing her friend to well. Tomorrow there would be something else that Tomoyo just NEEDED Sakura to do. Sakura tried to turn away from Tomoyo's puppy dogface but it was literally impossible. Sakura sighed deeply knowing she wasn't going to get her way no matter what. 

"Fine." She muttered as Tomoyo squealed in delight. She quickly grabbed Sakura in a hug saying she wouldn't regret it. Although Sakura knew very well that there was defiantly something Tomoyo wasn't telling her. What it was she couldn't place her finger on it. "Well let me do your makeup and I have the perfect outfit for you….." Tomoyo stated cheerfully. Sakura sweet dropped she had never agreed to that had she. Seeing Sakura's hard expression Tomoyo pulled her over to the mirror. "Oh come on Sakura-chan you really aren't planning on going out like that." Tomoyo gestured to her friends figure. Sakura understood what her friend was saying. She did indeed look awful… infact more than usually. ~I guess it wouldn't hurt to let Tomoyo have her fun for one night. She seems to really like this guy. Plus maybe it will get her off my back for a while~ Sakura just nodded letting Tomoyo know she could do as she pleased. Another squeal of delight came from Tomoyo. ~Boy she must be tired!~ Tomoyo exclaimed quickly starting before Sakura changed her mind. 

*************************************************************************************************

Chris and Xiao Lang entered the small restaurant known as Blinkers at 7:00 on the dot. That same warm sensation that Xiao Lang had felt last night washed over him. He could truly get use to that feeling it was so soothing. 

"Tomoyo over here!" Chris exclaimed as he saw his girlfriend come out of the backroom. He noticed Tomoyo start to come to them but turn back around. He saw her frustrated face, as she seemed to be trying pull something out from the backroom. 

"I've changed my mind!" A girls voice was heard. 

"You promised!" Tomoyo pouted giving one last pull, which had seem to caught the girl off guard. The girl stumbled out from the safety of the other room. She gave Tomoyo a look like your going to be dead when this is over. She sweet dropped than turned to Chris and his friend. Suddenly gasps where heard from all four of them. 

Chris looked Sakura up and down in utter shock. ~Sak Sakur Sakura Avalon she she can't be Sakura Kinomoto! She can't be the girl from the accident! This this is not happening! OMG it all makes sense I meant Tomoyo at the hospital around the same time of that accident. She must have been visiting Sakura. That's mean if that's true I destroyed my girlfriend's best friend's life!!!! OMG this is not happening someone tell me this is not happening!!!! How can I tell them now…. I'll I'll lose Tomoyo!~

Xiao Lang also had a look of shock on his face. Although it wasn't really for the same reasons as Chris's. Xiao Lang peered at the first girl infront of him. He knew it was Tomoyo from Chris's picture. She was indeed very beautiful. Chris was lucky to have found such a girl. She seemed to shine with much love. Xiao Lang turned his attention to the girl next to her. He almost fainted right then and there. ~My god she's so beautiful! Like an an Angel…~ He gaped at her beauty. Although she seemed physically tired that didn't make her any less beauty to Xiao Lang. Her smooth curves and small form fit her perfectly. She was completely stunning. He couldn't get over the way her hair shined gracing down past her shoulders. Or how her eyes glowed brightly, making his legs feel like jelly. He could stare into those green pools forever and never tire of them. He was completely lost in those orbs. Whoever came up with the line "Eyes are the windows of the soul" had to be taking about these emeralds. They showed all the pain heartache she had absorbed over the years. He immediately wanted to hold her and make all that pain go away. Protect her and lay down his life for her. ~God I feel like I'm in love…… but how can this be….I I just meant her….. I feel like like I should know her but from where. God she's beautiful~

Sakura felt faint as she stared at the two guys infront of her. The blonde one she recognized to be her former doctor. The one who had treated her a while back. But that wasn't what had been so upsetting to Sakura. Her eyes laid upon the man next to him. She gripped onto the counter for support. His eyes ~This isn't happening its all an illusion he isn't standing here infront of you! For god sakes Sakura he's dead! My god! Why can't I get over him!~ Sakura screamed in her head quickly closing her eyes. She was convinced that this was another cruel dream. Another one of the nightmares that haunted her by night. Had they crept into her day life now to? Could she get no peace from them? Sakura opened her eyes again half hoping the illusion would disappear and half hoping it would stay. "Syaoran?" She whispered as the man still stood in front of her. ~How could this be… This has to be some kind of cruel joke. He looks so much like him. The same gorgeous eyes that can pear into my soul and read me like a book. The same messy brown hair that feels like silk threw your hands. The same handsome face that I fell more in love with every time I see him. Even the aura around him appeared to be Syaoran's. ~But he's dead!~ her mind screamed back but her senses couldn't help but make her mind hope. 

Tomoyo looked back and forth between Sakura and Chris's friend clearly stunned herself ~My god how can he look so much like Li-kun its impossible!!!!! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… it could be so painful for Sakura. But than again perhaps this look alike could be the one to unlock Sakura's heart.~

"Well ummm Chris this is Sakura my best friend… Sakura Chris my boyfriend." Tomoyo stated pointing at the two as she spoke. "And this is Chris's new roommate……." Tomoyo stopped suddenly realized she didn't know his name. 

"Shaoran." He replied. His voice sent shivers up and down Sakura's spine. It sounded just like Syoaran's. Just like everything else about him. Sakura could feel tears welling up in her eyes. No matter what though this wasn't her Syaoran no it was just someone who held a resemblance to him. ~How could I be so stupid of course its not him he's dead! Get that threw your thick head! It means never return!~ Sakura yelled on the brink of breaking down. She had truly hopped by some miracle her little wolf had returned to her, but that would never be. Why did she set herself up for this everytime.

"Well ummm I guess we should be going." Chris stated bringing everyone else out of their thoughts. The others nodded silently as they walked out into the cold night. This would surely be an interesting night.

End of the third part. Sorry this took so long to get up. I've been stressing over finals. Don't worry though they are almost done so I will have more time to write. I will try to get the next part up soon.

~~LeoAngel~~


	4. Indescribable Feelings

Authors notes: I finally saw the first Cardcaptor Sakura movie @pont-face { pont-family: Wingdings; } @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Authors notes: I finally saw the first Cardcaptor Sakura movie!!! YAY I got to see Syoaran's sisters. They are a little wild huh? Lol Unfortunately I still didn't catch their names *figures is it even mentioned*. Anyways first of all I would like to apology for taking so long with this chapter. I've been going away a lot and haven't had a computer to access. That along with a little writer block has kept me from posting. But here is the next part and I hope to get a new one up sooner than I did this one. Not much happens in this part sorry, it's building up though. Anyways thanks all who reviewed!!!

Toast: Hey thanks a lot for the idea! LOL I actually never even thought of that… hehe I might just use that later on. But it depends where I go with the story J. And I have all intentions of finish it so luckily I wont get a virus into my computer!!! 

~*~Sakura-chan~*~: Thanks a lot on the info on Syaoran and Shoaran. I actually didn't know that. I haven't seen a lot of the episodes and with it being spelled different it looks like it would have a different pronunciation. Well anyways I'm going to keep it like this since I'm too lazy to go back and change it. But thanks so I don't make the same mistake in future stories. 

**"Follow your heart because your heart will know the way that is meant for you."**

**~Unknown~**

Kero fluttered into Sakura's bedroom. He was lucky she had left her window open so he could get in. He knew she wouldn't be home for a while. Tomoyo had informed him that they would be going out for a while. Kero was glad that Sakura was getting out he knew it had been a while. Tomoyo kept him up to date on his mistress. He snuggled up on her pillow taking in her scent. The little beast of the seal missed his mistress terrible. Whenever he could he would sneak in her room just to lie on her pillow and remember the good times. Although he never stayed long in fear of being discovered. He didn't wish to upset her any more than she already was. Kero took a deep breath letting his mind drift. Only a few minutes went by tell he was in a deep peaceful slumber. 

Tomoyo sighed loudly hoping to get the attention of her three companions. Unfortunately for her they all seemed to be in their own little worlds. She glanced at her boyfriend beside her hoping that perhaps he could break the silence, but he two seemed to be oddly distracted. ~That's it I'm going to go out of my mind!~ Tomoyo thought. She just couldn't stand it anymore. They had already been there for what seemed like hours. Not one of them had even spoken yet. She understood Sakura's silence especially now, but why was everyone else being so dam quiet. Perhaps this Shaoran was just shy or maybe he knew more than he was letting on. She sighed eyeing her boyfriend once more what was his problem? He seemed almost nervous which was a very unchris like. He was usually always happy and you could never shut him up. So what the heck is going on? She would defiantly find out later she always did. 

"Well…. Ummm Shaoran where are you from?" Tomoyo questioned finally taking matters into her own hands. If they wouldn't talk voluntarily than she would force them to. "Chris tells me you just moved here?" 

"Yea I am from China…" He replied. Sakura spit out some of her drink looking wide-eyed at Shaoran.

"Are you alright?" Xiao Lang questioned worriedly.

"I'm fin.. fine." She answered cleaning up the mess she had made. Xiao Lang helped her clean up the spilt water. They blushed as their hands accidentally brushed against each other's. Tomoyo had immediately caught onto the blush. A grin played across her lips. Sakura absolutely never blushed…. Well at least since Syaoran. Being her best friend she of course knew what this meant. Either Sakura was at least interested in the newcomer…. Or totally head over heals for him. Which wouldn't be surprising since he looked just like the man she had once loved… well still loved but that's not the point. Perhaps there was hope for Sakura yet. ~And it seems that he is just as interesting as she! Guess its time for Match Making Tomoyo to go back to work!~ Tomoyo thought happily thinking of all the cute moments she could capture on tape. If she could get Sakura to be happy than the old Sakura would defiantly come back. And that was something that Tomoyo wished for everyday. ~This won't be easy that's for sure… I know how she works she will try to push him away. Try being the key word I will be there to give them a little push in the right direction.~ 

Xiao Lang stole a glance at Sakura trying to rack his brain for something to talk about. He couldn't help but feel nervous around her. She was so perfect a living angel. Yet she was a bit distant and not very talkative. He could also detect pain and sorrow in her beautiful emerald orbs. He instantly felt a sharp pain in his own heart wishing to protect her from harm. ~Why do I feel this way?~ He blushed realizing they had both been just staring at each other for quite some time.

"So have you two known each other long?" Xiao Lang questioned referring to Sakura and Tomoyo. 

"Yep I've known Sakura almost our whole lives!" Tomoyo stated proudly. 

"We've been best friends for a long time." Sakura answered reflecting on all they had been threw. She was truly glad she had a friend like Tomoyo. There weren't many people out there that would put up with her crap.

"Your names don't really sound American……. Are you guys from America?" Xao Lang questioned looking at the girls.

"Yes…" Sakura stated harshly. She had decided that she wanted to forget about her past a long time ago. Plus if she had said she was from Japan there could be questions that she didn't want to answer. Tomoyo looked at her oddly wondering why she lied. 

"Well I'm from Japan actually." Tomoyo replied deciding she would not be apart of Sakura's lie.

Once again the group grew silent. Tomoyo rolled her eyes it looked like she was going to have to do all the work here.

"Chris lets dance!" Tomoyo stated getting up. Chris looked around at all the people not dancing than glanced back at his girlfriend. 

"Ummm Tomoyo…." He started but noticing her glare that clearly stated "Don't argue with me because your going to lose" he decided to shut up. "Fine."

"But…." Sakura started as Tomoyo and Chris headed off. The two sat in an uncomfortable silence watching Tomoyo and Chris dance. Sakura mentally cursed Tomoyo for getting her into this. It was all her fault. 

"So would you…. Would you like to dance?" Xiao Lang asked nervously. 

"Oh umm well…" Sakura started trying to find a way to say no. She noticed Tomoyo's head shaking up and down rapidly. Apparently she wanted them to dance, Sakura rolled her eyes. But in all honesty there was some part of her that actually wanted to dance with Shaoran. "Alright." She managed to get out. Xiao Lang smiled taking her hand. Sakura couldn't help but think he was very handsome. Especially when he smiled like that ~Just like Syaoran~

They walked up next to Tomoyo and Chris. Xiao Lang put his hands around Sakura's waist and she looped hers around his neck. She tensed up a bit feeling a little uncomfortable. After a few minutes though she began to relax and actually enjoy herself. She liked Shoaran being so close to her and enjoyed his touch. She was beginning to wish he would pull closer to her. ~What am I thinking this is insane! I can't start to like him… I just can't. He deserves better!~

"You're a good dancer." Xiao Lang complimented. 

"Thank you… Your not so bad yourself." Sakura replied. Despite herself Sakura leaned in a little closer to Shaoran. He blushed as he felt her cheek near his chest.

"Aren't they so Kawaii?!?!" Tomoyo exclaimed. 

"They do make a good couple." Chris stated.

"I am going to put them together! Its about time Sakura found some happiness." Tomoyo sighed burying her head in Chris's chest. 

"You are?"

"Yep and your going to help!" 

"I am? Don't you think we should let them be? I mean they are adults……" Chris stated placing his chin on top of Tomoyo's head.

"Believe we they will need a push. You'll help right?" Tomoyo pulled back a little and smiled. Chris sighed he could never resist that smile. It was like it casted a spell on him and all his senses went out the window. ~I guess I owe Shaoran this much though I took away his life. Maybe if we can put them together my conscious can be put to ease.~

"Yea yea I'll help." 

"Yay I love you!" 

The couples danced for a while tell their food came. They spent most of the night at the restaurant dancing and talking. Tomoyo kept the conversations going most of the time much to her dismay. 

"So what now?" Chris asked as they walked out of the restaurant. 

"How about a movie!" Tomoyo replied gesturing to the movie theater just down the street. So it wasn't the most original date plan but it would do for now. 

"Sounds good to me….What movie do you guys want to see?" Chris turned around to find his friends in a daze. Apparently they weren't paying to much attention to him or Tomoyo. They seemed obviously distracted by the others presence. "Hello?" 

"Oh um whatever it doesn't matter." Xiao Lang stated. Sakura just nodded in agreement and Chris shrugged. 

"That makes three of us…. Guess it's your choice than." He told Tomoyo. 

"Alright than we see American Sweethearts!" Tomoyo exclaimed. 

"Great a chick flick I should have known." Chris groaned as he bought the tickets. 

After the movie the guys drove the girls home since it was getting kind of late. They all had to be up pretty early for work. Plus Sakura kept yawning obviously exhausted. 

"Well I had a wonderful time! We just have to do this again! Shaoran it was really nice meeting you. We will become great friends!" Tomoyo exclaimed as they arrived at her stop.

"It was nice meeting you two." Xiao Lang replied

"Don't forget to get details." She whispered into Chris's ear as she hugged him. 

"Of course you've only told me 100 times tonight." He muttered back. 

"I love you. Sakura I'll see you tomorrow at work!" She quickly kissed Chris and existed the car. 

"Bye." Sakura said as Chris started up the car. Only a few minutes went by tell they reached Sakura's apartment. "I had a nice time thank you." She stated opening the door. 

"We'll have to do this again sometime." Xiao Lang said wanting to see her again. 

"Yea…" 

"Bye Sakura." With that Sakura got out and went up to her door. When she was completely in the guys drove off.

Kero woke to the slam of the door. He quickly scrambled off her pillow and hid in her closet. He cursed he must have of fallen asleep. Sakura sighed tiredly as she made her way over to her bed. Again she was too tired to even change. It had been a long day full of surprises. She fell back onto the bed almost instantly falling asleep. Not even caring that the nightmares would most likely haunt her again tonight, just like every night. Kero waited a few minutes tell he was sure she was in a deep sleep. He flew out from the closet and heading to the window. Before he left he took a last glance at Sakura. She looked scared and alone. Something urged him to go back. He flew over to the spot where he had been and curled up to her neck. He would stay the night and leave early morning before she woke up. There was no harm in that. 

*************************************************************************************************

"So???" Chris asked as he drove. 

"So what?" Xioa Lang replied confused. He hadn't really asked a question there. 

"So what do you think of Sakura?" He replied. Xiao Lang blushed at the question. ~What did he think of her? Just as a friend right? No more than that….~

"She seems nice." He replied after a few minutes pause. 

"Oh come on I think you like her more than that." Chris stated smilingly widely at his roommates lame attempts at covering it up. ~Am I that obvious?~ 

"I do not…." He replied stubbornly as always. 

"And that's why you blush just at the mention of her name?… I wouldn't worry I think she likes you two. You just have to give it some time. She has been threw a lot." Chris explained reassuringly. 

"How do you know? I mean that she likes me?" Xiao Lang asked curiously. 

"Just look at the way she acts…. Plus she doesn't usually even talk to a guy… Your lucky you got what you did… At least that's what Tomoyo told me." Chris stated.

*************************************************************************************************

~Dream~

"Happy Birthday!! Sakura-chan" Tomoyo exclaimed happily giving her best friend a hug. 

"Thanks Tomoyo." Sakura sighed. Tomoyo only smiled in return she knew why her friend wasn't exactly too happy. "Cheer up Sakura he promised to be back on your birthday! Plus you know he's going to do something extra special for missing your party! And besides it's your birthday!" Tomoyo stated knowingly. 

"I know I just wish he didn't have to go back to Hong Kong. He's only been gone a week but it feels like months." Sakura replied sadly. Unfortunately Syoaran had a clan emergency in Hong Kong and was forced to miss her birthday party, which was held the weekend before her birthday. She had offered to postpone it so he could be there but he refused stating he would make it up to her. She was terrible disappointed when he left. Although she understood he had responsibilities in Hong Kong, responsibilities that he couldn't ignore just for her.

"What do you mean my flight has been canceled!?!?!" Syaoran exclaimed utterly enraged. The woman behind the counter cringed at his glare. One that would scare even the bravest man. You defiantly didn't want to piss of the Li Clan Leader, which she seemed to be doing a good job of. 

"I'm I'm sorry Sir but the weather is to bad out there. So we had to cancel your flight… but I can get you tickets for the next one. Which will be tomorrow morning when everything clears up." The woman replied hoping to calm him down. 

"I need to get back to Japan TODAY! NOT TOMORROW!" Syoaran yelled grabbing her collar. 

"Please Sir there's nothing I can do." Syoaran sighed letting her go. Beating her up would defiantly not help his situation. Only get him in trouble with the clan.

"Fine book me for the next flight than." He stated harshly.

"It figures." He said angrily. He had promised to be back on Sakura's birthday, but the world seemed to be against him. 

"Some family emergency." He said in frustrated. The elders considered a few missing documents a crisis. Why the heck did he have to be flown out there to search for them? They where only misplaced by one of his cousins. "Ugh I can't believe they made me miss her birthday for that!" He had to be back for Sakura's birthday. He had already missed her party she deserved for him to at least be there today. "I should have brought the cards. Than I'd be back there in a flash!" He sighed in defeat deciding he better get a hotel. He didn't feel like going home and he obviously wasn't going to make it back to Japan before tomorrow.

Sakura sighed looking over to the clock it was 12:01 am on the dot. He hadn't made it back for her birthday. She couldn't help but be a little anger and hurt. 

"Don't cry Sakura… I'm sure the kid tried his hardest to come back." Kero stated landing on her shoulder. 

"I know Kero I know. I just can't help it." She replied gazing out the window. There where no stars out, the clouds covering them from sight. Rain poured down heavily from the heavens above. 

"I'm sure he'll come back soon and do something for you that will make the rest of us gag. Than you two will be inseparable as always and you'll forgot all about this." Kero stated trying to lighten the mood up. Sakura smiled a bit and hugged the guardian beast. 

"Arigatou Kero." 

"Your welcome." He replied as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

~LeoAngel~


	5. A Shoulder To Lean On

Author's notes: Well I finally got this part done @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Author's notes: Well I finally got this part done! Ugh it was so hard I'm running out of ideas!@ dam writers block urgh! I got like the last 20 episodes of Cardcaptor Sakura I've watched a few of them and they are so cool!!! Much better in Japanese if I do say so myself! I can't wait to watch the rest and get more. I'm starting from the last episode to the first… why I have no idea I'm just weird in that way. Well thanks for all who reviewed!!! Please do again!

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."

--H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Sakura woke up to the sun blaring in her eyes. She mentally cursed for not shutting the blinds when she went to bed. She yawned trying to wake herself up. It hadn't been as rough a night as usually. A small smile spread across her lips as she remembered when he had come back. He had given her a promise ring stating they would be together forever. If only that were the case. She sighed twisting the ring around her finger. Despite herself she still wore it. Along with her wedding and engagement bands. She couldn't help it a part of her just wouldn't let go of him, or perhaps she just didn't want to. 

"Oh Syaoran why did you have to leave me? I miss you so much….. I know I'm disappointing you though. You never liked to see me sad but it's just so hard. I lived for you than than you where taken away from me. Life is so cruel isn't it…..? but but I can't live like this anymore… Living for the day that everything can just be over." A tear slid down her cheek as she stared at the scar on her wrist. She had tried it once…. To end her life before it was time. It had been a week after Syaoran died. The pain was just unbearable so she tried to end it. Tomoyo had found her before she lost too much blood. After that Tomoyo was always around her trying to cheer her up. She had made her promise to never do that again. This was one promise Sakura intended to keep. She knew how it felt when someone broke a promise to you unintentionally but still it hurt like hell. She didn't want anyone else to ever feel that kind of pain, especially her best friend…

"Tomoyo you and Kero have been with me from the start. You guys haven't given up on me. Although I hurt on the inside I need to let them back into my life. I don't want to hurt either of them anymore…. I just hope they are willing to forgive me…."

"Yummy pudding." A little voice exclaimed from beside her. She jumped up in surprise seeing Kero asleep next to her. Her smile grew as the little beast snored once and a while muttering something about food. Her hand went behind his ears she knew as one of his sensitive spots. She rubbed back and forth until the sleeping beast awoke. 

Kero sighed happily as he felt someone rubbing his favorite spot. His eyes opened to the bright sun. After a few minutes his eyes adjusted to the light to find him next to his mistress. He jumped up in shame cursing himself for sleeping in. He knew it wasn't a good idea to stay. Now she would probably get upset and he would never get to come back. 

"I'm sorry Sakura I didn't mean to oversleep. I umm just wanted to visit I hope you can forgive me." With that he headed for the window. He was stopped as Sakura reached out and brought him towards her. She hugged him tightly to her chest. 

"I should be the one asking for forgiveness Kero…. I've been so awful to you. You have been a wonderful friend and guardian, and this is what you get repaid with. I'm truly sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Sakura asked tears in her eyes. She hadn't realized how much she missed the little fluff ball. 

"Of course Sakura! I was never mad in the beginning. I know you have been through a lot." Kero replied snuggling against her. 

"I still had no right to act the way I did….. I have to face facts that Syaoran is gone… and he's never coming back. He would want me to go on…. Kero…. I was ummm wondering… if you would like to move back in with me? I would understand if you don't… but you're more than welcome to." Sakura stated.

"Sakura of course I want to live with you!" Kero exclaimed. 

"I promise to make it up to you." Sakura replied giving him one last squeeze. 

"There's really nothing to be made up…. I just want you back is all. Its not easy getting over someone you care for. And I will always be there for you when it hurts." 

"Thanks Kero. I love you….. How about I make a big pancake breakfast for you."

"PANCAKES!" Kero exclaimed his mouth watering. Sakura giggled getting up. 

"I'll get right on it." She stated moving into the kitchen with a hungry guardian beast behind her. 

*************************************************************************************************

Xiao Lang sighed tiredly as he sat up in bed. He had had a weird dream. It was of a younger version of himself and a girl trying to capture this weird card. "The Void" He believe it was called. 

"She looked a lot like a younger version of Sakura." Xiao Lang stated thinking back to the girl in his dreams. She was very beautiful even at such a young age. Plus she had pledged her love to him. "Was it really just a dream…? Or more?" He sighed again in frustration. Why couldn't he remember his past? "Whatever it was it couldn't have just been a dream…… Somehow Sakura is the link to my past… and I'm going to find out how… No matter what." Xiao Lang stated forcefully. "The only way to do that though is to get close to her…. Something which apparently isn't an easy task." 

"Shaoran you up we are going to be late for work if you don't hurry." Chris stated from the other room. Xiao Lang got up and did his morning routine. After this he sat down infront of Chris to a nice big cup of coffee.

"Did you sleep well?" Chris asked eyeing his friend. He seemed really tired. 

"Yea." Xiao Lang replied yawning. 

"Yep it looks like it." Chris replied sarcastically.

"I just had a weird dream that's all." Xiao Lang replied. 

"Oh what about?" 

"Not much you wouldn't understand it." Xiao Lang stated coldly. He didn't feel like sharing the context of this dream, not tell he figured out what it meant. 

"Well if you want to talk I'm always here…. I suppose we should get to work… otherwise we are going to be late." Xiao Lang nodded as the two got up and headed for the hospital.

*************************************************************************************************

Sakura set Kero's fourth plate of pancakes down for him. She glanced at the clock and figured she should probably get ready for work. 

"Kero I'm going to take a shower if you want more it's on the counter." Kero answered but his reply was muffled from his full mouth. Sakura slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. 

"It wasn't easy letting Kero back into my life… but I suppose it's for the best… though I'd thought I'd feel better about everything but the pain is still there." Sakura traced the heavy bags that lay under her eyes. "But I can pretend to be ok for them…. It's the least I can do." Sakura than jumped into the shower with a sense of determination. 

An hour later Sakura walked into Blinkers with her head held high. 

"Sakura your early!" Tomoyo stated a bit shocked looking at her watch. Usually Sakura woke up last minute and rushed to work. A habit she hadn't been able to change from her youth. 

"Hello Tomoyo-chan! How are you?" Tomoyo stared at Sakura getting another shock. Sakura actually greeted her back. This was a day full of surprises. 

"So what has gotten you in such a good mood?" Tomoyo questioned eyeing Sakura. Perhaps she wouldn't need to give her friend a little push. 

"Not much I just got a good nights sleep I suppose." Sakura answered. 

"No more nightmares?" Tomoyo asked. 

"Not that I can remember." It wasn't exactly a lie. Last nights "dream" had been more peaceful than the others. There was no need to worry Tomoyo with such a minor dream. 

"Well that's good!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "Would you like to go out tonight? We could grab a bite to eat or something after work?" Tomoyo suggested. 

"Actually my cabinets are kind of bare… I think I need to go food shopping." Sakura answered deciding it wouldn't do her any good to have no food in the house. After all Kero was back and he had to have his meals. She was lucky she was able to find even the pancake mix for his breakfast. That had been a manage miracle in itself. 

"Oh ok well I'm glad you've finally decided to get some food! God knows you need it. I guess we should get to work." Tomoyo stated as a few customers came in. Sakura nodded as the two went about their work.

The rest of the day was proven to be hard work for both Sakura and Tomoyo. Blinkers seem to be busy morning, afternoon, and night, no breaks at all. Tomoyo sighed flipping her cell phone on. She dialed Chris's number waiting for a reply from the other side. 

"Moshi moshi." She heard Chris's voice greet. She smiled inwardly thinking of her boyfriend. 

"Hey Chris! You know we aren't in Japan anymore… you don't have to answer like that." Tomoyo giggled.

"I know but you're the only one who usually calls my cell, and I kinda like it." Chris teased. 

"Hmm I've missed you… How about we get together tonight?" Tomoyo suggested. 

"Sounds great to me!" 

"You don't happen to need any groceries do you?" Tomoyo asked an evil glint in her eyes. 

"Umm no not really I've got a lot of foo…" 

"GOOD! Send Shaoran out to get you some! I'm sure he won't mind since your letting him stay there free of charge." Tomoyo exclaimed. Chris sat puzzled for a minute tell he caught the hint in her voice. 

"Oh I see Sakura must be food shopping." Chris chuckled from the other side. 

"It's perfect!" Tomoyo stated excitedly. 

"Yea I suppose…. And we can have the place to ourselves!" 

"Well I wanted to you know tag along…. Without notice." Tomoyo stated pouting a bit. Although a nice quiet evening with her love did indeed sound enticing. 

"Come on if you set it up right… which you will… It will be sure fire and you won't have to be there. We haven't had much alone time!" Chris explained. Tomoyo sighed knowing this was one battle she was not going to win. 

"Alright! But make sure Shaoran goes now! I know for a fact Sakura is going from here." 

"Of course my love, see you in a few goodbye." 

"Bye!" 

Chris hung up his phone and turned around to his roommate. Xiao Lang stared at him not liking the look he was receiving. 

"What?!" He demanded as Chris just stared at him. 

"Tomoyo is coming over…. And we want to be ALONE." Chris stated. 

"Oh umm…." 

"And we need some food so I was thinking you could go to the grocery store you know stay for a while make yourself scarce!" 

"Well I could just…" 

"I know you'd agree thanks a lot man!" Chris interrupted shoving Shaoran out the door. "Its not far only bout a minutes walk! But take your time go see a movie afterwards or something!" Chris exclaimed from behind the locked door.

"Guess I'm going to the grocery store." Xiao Lang muttered. He sighed heading toward the direction which he thought the grocery store was in.

*************************************************************************************************

Sakura walked around the store aimlessly. She was more exhausted than usually. Acting as if nothing was wrong was more tiring than she had first thought. Nothing really seemed appetizing to her so she just threw in stuff for Kero. Sakura rubbed her eyes trying to get them to focus. Things where becoming considerable blurry. 

"What's wrong with me?" She asked rubbing her temples. A splitting head ache was raging threw her. She studied herself on one of the stands so she wouldn't fall over. 

"Are you alright?" A voice questioned from behind her. Startled she dropped her basket which held her food in it. She felt steady hands grip her shoulders so she would not lose her balance.

"Yeah I'm ok." She replied not wanting the man to worry. She looked up to be greeted with amazing amber eyes. They made her knees want to give way but she managed to keep herself up. Of course with the help of his hands on her. 

"You don't look ok." He replied she almost sensed worry in his tone but dismissed it. After all he was a doctor that was his job. Even if he did happen to be interesting in her that way she could never pursue it…. ~Why?!?!~ Her inner voice screamed at her wanting her to jump the guy and kiss him. She again managed to resist the urge. ~Why do I feel this way whenever he's around?~ She questioned herself. ~Duuuh~ The voice replied annoyed. She sighed deciding she had finally gone off the deep in. Shaoran was staring at her in concern her obvious lack of words had worried him even more. 

"Look I'm fine just tired." Sakura stated pushing his hands away from her. The spot where they had been tingled in desire, screaming to be held again. Shaoran nodded although not quite believing her. She still looked like she could faint at any moment. ~God she's beautiful~ Xiao Lang thought taking in her image once more. ~Stop that she obviously isn't well. Don't just stand here and stare at her for god sakes!~ He scolded himself. 

"Let me help you with this stuff." Shaoran stated picking up the contents which had been dropped. Sakura stared at him dumbfounded while he picked her stuff up. "I'm sorry I didn't me to startle you." He apologized after cleaning up the food. 

"It's not your fault… Thank you." With that she turned around ready to walk away. She couldn't stand being with him another minute. He had this effect on her that no other did. He seemed to seep throw her highly devised shields with just one glance of his eyes. 

Xiao Lang quickly grabbed her wrist before she could get too far. 

"Are you sure you're ok? You looked like you where going to faint." Xiao Lang asked worriedly not liking the idea of her being alone. 

"Of course I'm fine!" Sakura replied coldly pulling her wrist away. She was so tired shopping hadn't been the best idea. All she wanted to do now was go home and go to bed. Xiao Lang put his had to her forehead and frowned. 

"You have a fever Sakura…. And a high one at that… I should take you to the hospital." Xiao Lang stated whipping away a piece of honey brown hair that clung to her face. She shuttered at the feeling of his fingers gently brushing against her skin. ~Oh god how can I feel this way after only meeting him twice!!! I've got to get rid of him! He's going to destroy me…. No I'll destroy him.~ She thought sadly.

"I WILL NOT GO TO A HOSPITAL! NEVER! EVER!" Sakura exclaimed tears glittered in her eyes. Painful memories flashed throw her mind. She would never step foot in a hospital again. She had lost Syaoran in a hospital, lost her whole life. 

Xiao Lang was taken back by the look in her eyes. It was as if she where scared of something. Well she obviously didn't like hospitals for one reason or another. He could tell by that look that there was no way to get her to one. Still her fever was high he knew and he was afraid she had some kind of viral infection that had been going around. 

"Alright no hospital." Xiao Lang sighed in defeat. "But I am going to at least walk you home!" He stated forcefully leaving no room for argument. She was about to protest but knew he wouldn't back down.

"Fine suit yourself." She stated walking out of the store. Her food was left on the floor where Xiao Lang had picked them up. He sighed placing his down knowing he wouldn't have time to pay for them, not with her quickly retreating figure. Chris would have to get his own food sometime. He hoped he wouldn't be too mad, but this was more important. 

Sakura walked hurriedly trying to get ahead of Shaoran. He had caught up to her a while back and was matching her pace perfectly. No matter what speed she went at he seem to follow right along. She cursed mentally for not arguing with him before. She should have never just let him come along without a fight. He wasn't suppose to walk her home. He was suppose to get mad at her and never speak to her again. Obviously that plan hadn't succeeded. She was quickly growing tired from walking so much. She probably should have taken the car but it had been such a nice day out. Sakura suddenly stopped her eyes beginning to lose focus once again. Shaoran stared at her in concern as she leaned heavily against a wall. 

"Sakura?!" He questioned hesitantly. He really didn't want to upset her anymore than he had. He knew she hadn't been comfortable with him following her home. Yet he wasn't going to leave her in this condition.

"I don't feel so good." Sakura mumbled as her body gave way letting gravity take her down. Xiao Lang caught her though before she could hit the ground. 

"Sakura?!?" He exclaimed panic rising up in his voice. He couldn't lose her not again… again?? 

~~LeoAngel~~


	6. Haunting Dreams

Authors Notes: Well I finally get another apart up @pont-face { pont-family: Wingdings; } @pont-face { pont-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { pont-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { pont-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; pont-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-pont-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-pont-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } 

Authors Notes: Well I finally get another apart up! Wooohooo! It's a little shorter than the others but you guys will have to deal J! Anyways hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone who reviewed before!

**Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest:  
Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers:  
Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest,  
And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers!  
--William S. Gilbert, _"Iolanthe"_**

"Damit what bad luck!" Tomoyo exclaimed glaring at the phone hoping it would burst into flames. No such luck as the device sat there unharmed. She sighed looking down towards her watch. Just 15 minutes tell her flight out to Paris. Apparently their was a disaster out at one of her fashion studios and only she could solve it. She was to fly out their immediately and take care of the problem. She barely had time to get to the airport never mind saying goodbye to her boyfriend. "I guess I'll just call him on my cell, on the plane." Tomoyo stated grabbing her coat. She put it on and quickly existed to the cab waiting outside for her. 

*************************************************************************************************

Xiao Lang gently swept Sakura into his arms. He couldn't help but notice she was extremely underweight. She probably hasn't eaten in days he thought bitterly. What was he going to do with her though? He couldn't take her to the hospital…. He had promised he wouldn't. He started running careful with the bundle in his arms. Xiao Lang decided to bring her back to her own apartment. She would probably be more comfortable there. He could only hope her door was unlocked or there was a key around. 

He cursed as a rain drop splattered onto his shoulder. Many more followed after its brother. Xiao Lang picked up his pace as Sakura's apartment came into sight. He juggled Sakura a bit in his arms getting the door open fairly easy. 

Kero opened one eye as he heard footsteps near the door. He yawned stretching out a bit on the bed. His stomach made a sound as he realized he hadn't eaten since this morning. ~Well at least Sakura's home~ He thought giddily as the door opened up. 

"Sakura thank god your home I'm starving!" Kero exclaimed going to greet his mistress at the door. Xiao Lang almost dropped Sakura as a small stuffed animal flew over to him and started talking. His eyes grew wide as he was left speech. 

"Ack Syaoran!!!!!! Your suppose to to be dead!" Kero exclaimed finding his voice first.

"What… what the hell are you?!" Xiao Lang questioned getting over his shock. Kero stared at the figure infront of him. Syaoran certainly didn't look like a ghost. Infact he looked like he had grown a bit from the last time he saw him. But there was no mistake this had to be the Syaoran Sakura fell in love with, Auras don't lie.

"Well?!?" Syaoran exclaimed bringing Kero out of his thoughts. 

"Umm I'm a rear type of bear only found in umm Africa!!" Kero explained deciding that obviously Syaoran didn't recognize him. Suddenly Kero's attention got caught by what Syaoran was holding. 

"What did you do to her you Chinese Gaki?!?!" Kero exclaimed.

"ME?!? She fainted in the store!! I didn't do anything!" Xiao Lang replied hotly. "Get out of my way whatever you are…. We've got to bring down the fever." Kero let the kid past figuring Sakura was safe. He knew Syaoran would do anything he could to help Sakura. He would just have to wait to find out what was going on. 

Xiao Lang gently put Sakura on her bed. He glanced at her wet cloths and suddenly become an interesting shade of red. 

"What?!" Kero asked seeing the kid was just standing there. 

"Well… ummm we have to get her into some dry cloths…" Xiao Lang stated. He didn't understand why he was having this reaction. After all he was a doctor this should be a piece of cake. ~Her being the most beautiful creature on earth has nothing to do with it right?~ His inner voice snickered. ~Shut up!~ He mentally yelled. "Great now I'm fighting with myself…" 

"Well… I can't exactly do it…" Kero replied. He didn't understand why Syaoran was being so shy all of a sudden. After all it wasn't like this was the first time he was going to see Sakura without cloths. He sighed no matter how much he didn't like it Syaoran was the only one who could do this at the moment. 

Xiao Lang took a deep breath and started stripping off the wet cloths. ~Strictly professional!~ He stated to himself. After several noise bleeds the task was done and Sakura was curled under the blankets. Xiao Lang took a face cloth and placed it over her head. He gently swept the hair from her face running his hand along her cheek. He had already come to the conclusion that this was only an episode of exhaustion and lack of food. Sakura obviously hadn't been sleeping or eating well.   
"She'll be alright right?" Kero asked sitting on Syaoran's shoulder. Kero glanced at Syaoran ruling out immediately that he no longer loved Sakura. He could tell by the way Syaoran looked at Sakura that he still loved her. 

"She will be fine. But I suggest someone stays with her for a while. And I mean someone… human. Someone who can cook and make sure she gets lots of rest." Xiao Lang replied. 

"Why don't you call Tomoyo? She should be at her office. The number is speed dial four." Kero suggested gesturing to the phone. Xiao Lang nodded picking it up and hitting four. After a few rings he got Tomoyo's secretary. 

"Hello may I speak to Miss. Daidouji?"

"I'm sorry Miss. Daidouji won't be available for quite sometime. She had to take care of an emergency in Paris. Would you like to leave a message?" The woman stated cheerfully on the other end. 

"No thanks." Xiao Lang replied placing the phone back down. "Does she have any other friends who could take care of her apparently Tomoyo is away." Xiao Lang questioned. 

"Umm well not really she keeps to herself mostly." Kero informed. "So I guess this means you get the privilege." Kero winked as Syaoran sat back into the chair. 

"She barely knows me!" Xiao Lang protested closing his eyes. 

"So are you willing to leave her all alone than?" Kero asked already knowing the answer. "That's what I thought!" Kero exclaimed after a few moments of silence. 

"You know I'm not stupid." Xiao Lang stated opening one of his auburn eyes to pear at Kero. 

"Eh?" Kero asked a bit confused, that was kind of random. 

"A bear from Africa?! I'm not buying it… but I'm too tired to care." He explained, Kero sweatdropped.

"Why don't you get some rest kid? I'll watch over her." Kero suggested. Xiao Lang nodded as he felt himself already leaving awareness.

"Guess he was tired." Kero stated as the boy started snoring lightly. "Now… to figure out what's going on. Syaoran is supposed to be dead. Yet here he is just as alive as Sakura and myself. Could it be he never died in the first place? But how come he didn't know who I was. I know we weren't the best of friends but you'd think he'd remember me at least! Though he said he didn't know Sakura well…. He knows her more than anyone! Urgh this is so frustrating! Than does that mean he doesn't remember her either!" Kero sighed realizing he wouldn't be able to figure out what was going on. Not tell he got all the facts from all three of them. Kero fluttered over to Sakura's neck and curled up into it. He mine as well get some of his own rest. He figured it would be a long day tomorrow. 

*************************************************************************************************

~Dream~

Sakura paced nervously infront of Tomoyo. Tomoyo watched almost getting dizzy as her friend went back and forth. 

"Oh Tomoyo what if he doesn't want this?!" Sakura exclaimed finally stopping and throwing her hands up into the air in frustration. Tomoyo noticed tears trying to force there way out. She pulled her friend to sit down and whipped the tears from her eyes. 

"Sakura calm down. Syaoran loves you. He'll do anything for you. He will understand don't worry about it." 

"But.." 

"Shhh no buts!" Tomoyo replied hushing Sakura. "I bet he will be overjoyed." 

"You think so?" Sakura questioned hesitantly whipping her eyes. 

"Yes…. You two will be great parents believe me I know!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "Now when he comes home you're going to tell him ok!" Sakura nodded sighing her nerves where getting the better of her. 

Flash

~New Scene~

Sakura opened her eyes but saw nothing but darkness. A shot of pain ran throughout her body as she tried to move. A tiney groan escaped her she felt like death warmed over twice.Again she tried to focus her eyes but still found nothing but darkness. She panicked relaxing she didn't know where she was or what happened. 

"Sakura?!" She heard a voice ask timidly. It took a few moments for the voice to register to Sakura. 

"Tomoyo?! Is that you?!" Sakura questioned. 

"Yes it's me." Sakura felt a bit of weight to her side as someone sat down on the bed. Light fingers whipped the hair from her face. 

"Tomoyo I I can't see." Sakura stated her voice wavering in fear. Had she somehow lost her sight? 

"That's because the doctors had to bandage your eyes honey. They got hurt." Tomoyo explained trying to sound like she hadn't been crying for hours. How could this have happen to her two best friends in the whole wide world. It wasn't fair. 

"What happen?" 

"You were in a car crash remember…?" Sakura thought for a moment trying to remember what had happened. Bits and pieces started to come back to her. Her and Syaoran in a car talking and laughing. She was driving and she got distracted as Syaoran nibbled on her neck. Swerving and hitting someone else's car. Pain so much pain and and darkness. "Syaoran is ok right?!" Sakura choked now trying to get the images out of her head. She didn't want to remember anymore. Tomoyo was silent she knew she had to tell Sakura but she was hoping it would have been later. 

"Right?!?" Sakura exclaimed urgently after getting no answer. 

"I'm I'm sorry…" Tomoyo replied not being able to hold back her tears any longer. Sakura sat in shock this couldn't be happening. It wasn't real! It was just a bad dream one she needed to wake up from now! "Oh god no no no Syaoran please no!" Tears would have fallen from her eyes if they could have. She sobbed pulling her knees to her chest. This isn't real! Tomoyo tried to comfort her but was pushed away. Tomoyo sighed deciding Sakura needed some time alone. "It will be ok Sakura. You'll see." Tomoyo stated forcefully opening the door. 

"No it won't!" Sakura sobbed. Syaoran was the only person who had kept her stable when her father and brother died. Now that he was gone there was nothing left holding her back. 

*************************************************************************************************

Xiao Lang woke up to soft sobbing noises. He looked at the clock seeing that it was early morning. Glancing over to Sakura he could tell she was crying. Her knees where pulled up to her chest as she rocked back and forth. Trying to muffle her cries into her knees. Xiao Lang moved over to the bed and sat down. 

"What's wrong?" He asked softly. After a few moments Sakura still gave no reply. She didn't even seem to realize he was in the same room. Xiao Lang pulled her into his arms not knowing exactly what he was doing. All he knew was that he couldn't stand to see her cry and wanted to make it all better for her. She buried her face into his chest grabbing onto his shirt tightly. Xiao Lang ran his fingers through her hair in a soothing manner. "Shhhh its ok your ok." He said softly trying to get her to stop crying. Sakura seemed to calm down a bit as her sobs stopped. Soon she was breathing normally and was in a light sleep. Xiao Lang sigh in relief glad she was getting more much needed sleep. He went to go back to his chair but was stopped. She still had her arms tightly wrapped around him. It looked like she wouldn't be letting go anytime soon either. He blushed slightly realizing he was going to have to stay in her bed if he didn't want to wake her up. He laid back down yelling at himself for enjoying the feeling of her skin. Honestly he couldn't believe himself anymore. This was going to be a long night Xiao Lang decided. Sakura curled up against him, No make that an extremely long night. 

~LeoAngel~


	7. Reality Or Just Another Dream

Author's notes: Ok really short part but I thought it'd be better this way nikki Normal nikki 1 0 2001-11-12T21:57:00Z 2001-11-12T21:58:00Z 1 703 4010 33 9 4704 10.2625 Clean Clean MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1:* { BEHAVIOR: url(#ieooui) } @font-face { font-family: Verdana; } @page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; } P.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman"; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman" } P.MsoBodyText { FONT-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoBodyText { FONT-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoBodyText { FONT-SIZE: 7pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman" } SPAN.SpellE { mso-style-name: ""; mso-spl-e: yes } SPAN.GramE { mso-style-name: ""; mso-gram-e: yes } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} 

Author's notes: Ok really short part but I thought it'd be better this way. Oh and warning S+S fluff!

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."

James Baldwin__

~Dream~

"So you're happy about this right?" Sakura asked hesitantly. Syaoran smiled kissing her on the cheek. 

"Of course I am! I think the only day I've ever been happier was when you told me you loved me two." Syaoran replied he couldn't help the smile playing on his lips. 

"I'm so glad… because if you didn't want this I understand. I mean we are still young and we…" She was cut off with Syaoran's lips. 

"Hush unless you unhappy with this than I'm ecstatic." Syaoran stated running his hands along her knuckle. 

"Good… cuz cuz I want this to." Sakura replied with a sigh of relief. She knew it was silly to think Syaoran would be unhappy with a new addiction to their family, but she still couldn't help but think that maybe he didn't want the child. After all it was a ton of responsibility. 

"We are going to be late for the doctor's appointment." Syaoran stated grabbing the keys. Sakura nodded quickly following Syaoran out to the car. 

"So what should we name her…?" Sakura asked putting on her seat built. 

"Hmmm how come it's not a he?" Syaoran questioned starting up the car and heading out of the drive way. Sakura gave a small smile and squeezed Syaoran's hand. 

"Just a guess." She replied with a wink. 

"Well I think we have plenty of time to figure out a name eh?" Syaoran replied glancing to Sakura. 

"Hee I suppose we do." Sakura nodded taking off her seatbelt and crawling over to sit closer to Syaoran. 

"Sakura…" Syaoran stated in a disapproving manner. 

"Relax daddy." Sakura answered kissing his neck and slowly going up. Syaoran shuttered in pleasure trying to keep his attention on the road. 

"You're a very big distraction you know." Syaoran stated placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Sakura asked innocently. 

"I don't believe you have today." Syaoran replied as Sakura went onto her knees kissing him softly on the lips. He pushed her mouth open gently letting his tongue explore the rough of her mouth. 

A car honk broke the two apart Syaoran quickly swerved to try and avoid the car but he wasn't in time. The sound of metal hitting metal, the sight of blood splattering everywhere, the agonizing pain going through his body were the last things to go through both their senses. 

********************************************************

Syaoran almost jumped off the bed in shock. Everything was beginning to become clearer and clearer. 

"We we where in a car crash than next thing I'm in China…. Oh my god I remember I came to Japan to capture the cards… and and met Sakura…." Syaoran stated as the flash of memories invaded his mind. "Sakura…." He whispered softly turning to the other occupant of the bed. She was still asleep and looked to be having a peaceful dream for once. "Oh my cherry blossom… we lost so much time… and you've been in so much pain." Syaoran felt a rush of guilt over flow him as he realized that he was the cause of her pain. He gently gathered her body up into his arms vowing to never let something between them again. He pulled her close letting a few tears escape his eyes. 

Sakura groaned softly opening one eye. She was surprised to find two arms hugging her tightly. She sighed into the warm embrace vasking in the soothing presence. She didn't care if it was a dream Sakura never wanted to wake up again. 

"I'll never leave you again I promise aishiteru…… never again." Syaoran whispered gentle clutching Sakura as if his life depended on it. Which could very well be the case, he didn't think he could stand losing her again. Suddenly Sakura was very well awake and hearing the words. She jumped back not sure what to make of them. 

"Shaoran… what what are you doing?" Sakura asked. 

"Oh Sakura it's me Syaoran… I'm not dead Sakura…. I haven't been." Syaoran tried to explain desperately not quite understanding it himself. 

"No no you're you're just an image of my imagination. Just a dream like all the others. I've gone crazy this isn't real you you died in the car crash. No matter how much I want this it isn't real." Sakura sobbed bring her knees up to her chest. "Not real not real." She chanted desperately closing her eyes tightly. 

Syaoran brought her into another embrace holding her even tighter than before. 

"Shhh I'm real and I'm not going to leave you." Syaoran said soothingly running his hands through her hair. She slowly drifted off to sleep knowing the image before her would disappear once morning came. 

~LeoAngel~


	8. Illusions Aren’t Always What They Seem

Author's Notes: Another part finally!! Heee and even on the week of mid terms! Had to relieve that stress somehow lol! Thank you everyone that has reviewed I appreciate it! Hope you enjoy this next part ^ ^! 

** "You say that love is nonsense....I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leaving one, by night or by day; a long strain on one's nerves like toothache orrheumatism, not intolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength." **

**Adams, Henry**

Sakura brought herself into consciousness without opening her eyes. Vision's of the events occurring last night played through her mind. She knew once she opened her eyes that Syaoran would not be there, after all he was dead. It had felt so real, in fact she could still feel his strong arms wrapped around her body. She shuttered hearing the soft soothing words that floated through the air. ~You've gone off the deep end Sakura. He's dead when are you going to get that through your dense skull?~ Sakura thought silently to herself. She was sick of living with the emptiness in her heart that never ceased to exist. "Sakura." His soft voice whispered she could feel breath near her ear. She shuttered letting a lone tear escape her close eye. A gentle finger reached out and wiped it away. She opened her eyes in surprise at the sweet touch. The light that poured into the room instantly made her regret the move. Sakura quickly shut her eyes her head started to throb. After a few minutes she reopened them letting her eye sight adjust to the lighting. Glancing up she found herself wrapped up in a tight embrace. 

"Syaoran." Sakura muttered softly reaching her hand up to brush against his cheek. She gasped as the hand didn't go through him like most illusions. Shock over took her as she felt the soft warmth as his hand pushed up against hers. 

"It's me Sakura… I'm really here." Syaoran stated running his fingertips up and down the back of her hand. Tears welled up in her eyes this had to be some cruel joke. "Don't cry love." He soothed again wiping away the tears that flooded down her cheeks. Sakura instantly jumped on his lap clinging onto him as if he'd disappear, which she thought he may just do. She buried her head into his chest and let strangle sobs out. He tangled his fingers through her soft honey brown hair gently soothing the cries away. 

"Your not real… please don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me." Sakura muttered over and over shaking violently. 

"Shhh I'll never leave you again I promise Sakura forever this time I won't let anyone or anything ever tear us apart again." Syaoran replied forcefully. Minutes or maybe it was hours Syaoran wasn't quite sure, but it had been a while before Sakura had quieted her tears. 

"How… how is this possible…? I've I've wished this moment would happen for years… I was there you you are dead…. why now? How how?" Sakura asked her hands unconsciously clutching his shirt tightly. Syaoran sighed slightly rubbing his hand up and down her back. It had been so long since he felt her soft skin against his. So long since he had heard her sweet voice or laughed alongside her. The years had brought many pains on himself and obviously Sakura. Sakura had most defiantly suffered more than him though he decided. She knew exactly what was missing in her life, while his heart knew something was missing just not exactly what it was. 

"I'm… not exactly sure. Somehow my mother got me back to China without any of you knowing." Syaoran started getting confused himself. His mother was a powerful woman there was no doubt about that. The dream or rather memory he had had when he first got here sprung up in his mind. "She she bribed a doctor to fake my death…." He stated not believing the statement. How could she have done this to him she knew he loved Sakura more than anything. He blinked back tears noticing Sakura had been staring at him as he talked. He didn't want to distress her anymore than she already was, he smiled softly towards her the first real smile he had had in a very long time. "But I'm here now ne?... And I'll never leave I promise." He brought his hand back up to her cheek and softly kissed her lips. 

"Promises are worthless Syaoran… that much I've learned." She stated softly as they pulled away. Syaoran stared at her sadly knowing he had been the cause of her distrust in life. He swore to himself he would fix all the damage caused by his mother. "Just hold me please." Sakura whispered knowing her statement probably had sounded harsh to Syaoran. But she couldn't pretend everything was ok. True she was happy Syaoran was back, no more than just happy, ecstatic. Words couldn't describe the feeling she was having. Yet they had been apart a long time and the damage was still there despite his return. It would take time for them to fade away and for everything to be alright with the world. 

**************************************************************************************

Kero smiled lightly at the scene from his spot at the kitchen door. He knew that everything would start to get better now that Syaoran had returned. His mistress wouldn't waste away any longer. Despite himself he was grateful that Syaoran had returned from the 'dead'. He had actually missed there constant fighting, Syaoran had somehow worked his way into the clow beasts heart through all the harsh words. Kero decided he would go out and leave the two alone, they had a lot to work out. 

**************************************************************************************

Sakura and Syaoran laid together just enjoying the feel of the other's body close to theirs. As Syaoran ran his hands up and down her shoulders he couldn't help but realize she was extremely hot and clammy all over. Despite this she was shivering even with all the blankets wrapped around them. He cursed himself for his stupidity. She had passed out earlier and obviously had a fever. As far as he could tell a high one at that.

"Sakura?" Syaoran started softly almost not wanting to break the peaceful silence, but Sakura's health was priority at the moment. 

"Yes?" She asked turning around in his embrace. He kissed her lightly on the forehead before continuing. 

"How are you feeling?" He questioned running his finger tips where he had kissed her. "Physically I mean… you passed out before…" 

"My head hurts… and I'm cold." She admitted Syaoran nodded just as he had thought. 

"Let me get you something for that" He stated making a move to get up. He was quickly pushed down again as she grabbed him tightly. 

"Please don't leave me." She half cried into his shoulder not wanting this moment to disappear. 

"Shhh you have a bad fever I'm just going to go to the kitchen… I'll be right back." Syaoran soothed. Sakura let go reluctantly against her better judgment. He kissed her again before heading to the kitchen. There he searched through the cabinets for some painkillers. He frowned noticing what food Sakura had in her cabinets, or rather lack of. There was barely anything in there, he wonder vaguely if she had had any full course meals lately with how light she was. 

"Guess I shouldn't have left those groceries there." Syaoran muttered as he spotted the bottle on the counter. He took two than poured some water to swallow it with and headed back into the bedroom. "Here take these." Syaoran stated handing Sakura the pills. She sat up her head spinning slightly at the sudden movement. She gratefully took the offered pills and laid back down. 

"Come back…?" She asked hesitantly. 

"You need food Sakura…. I'm sure you haven't eaten anything decent today." Syaoran stated sitting down next to her. 

"Please don't go… I'm not hungry." Sakura replied not wanting him to leave the apartment. Syaoran sighed knowing he needed to get her to eat at least something. 

"You need to have something…. I'll ask Chris to pick something up…" Syaoran replied reaching over for the phone beside her bed deciding he would get Chris to bring over some groceries whether he wouldn't to or not. Sakura nodded her agreement as she took Syaoran's unoccupied hand. She closed her eyes tiredly despite having slept most of the night, she still felt drained. 

What seemed like a few minutes later Sakura woke up to the gentle voices of Syaoran and Chris talking. Apparently Chris had bought some much needed food for Sakura. 

"Thanks again for bringing over this stuff." Syaoran was saying. 

"No problem Syaoran…" Chris replied. Syaoran had explained to him about what happened all those years ago. Chris knew it was only a matter of time before they figured out that he had had a hand in it as well. ~I should have come clean the minute I saw them… I knew this was going to happen.~ Chris thought sadly. He didn't want to ruin the bonds he had managed to make, especially with Tomoyo. 

"You ok?" Syaoran asked noticing the way the doctor seemed to space out a bit. 

"Yea fine… I umm think I should go… See yea later… Hope you feel better Sakura." Christ stated as he left.

"Bye Chris."

Sakura frowned lightly looking after the place he had once stood. Chris had been the one to tell her of Syaoran's 'death'. Was it possible the doctor knew more than he had let on? Sakura shook her head knowing it was an absurd thought… He cared for Tomoyo to much to do that to one of her friends… yet she couldn't help but wonder. 

"What are you thinking about?" Syaoran asked coming back into the room with a bowl of soap. 

"Nothing important." Sakura replied taking the soap from him. Surprisingly it was very good despite her stomach's tossing and turning. She really hadn't eaten much in a while, so she supposed just about anything would have been good at the moment. Even though it was good she couldn't make herself eat it all. Syaoran frowned a bit as Sakura gave him back the bowl half full. 

"I can't eat anymore… sorry." Sakura whispered softly. 

"Don't worry about it… your sick… but Sakura you have to start eating normally again…" Syaoran stated brushing his cool hand against her forehead. She nodded laying back down onto the bed. 

"I'll try." She responded as he left towards the kitchen to put the bowl away. 

**************************************************************************************

The sun pounded down harshly on the ground below. Waves crashed violently against the lively docks.

"Hmmm back in America." The figure stated walking gracefully off the boat. Large crowds rushed this way and that. The person reached out with their senses trying to locate a source of power. The person found it and smiled to themselves. "This will be an interesting trip." With that they walked towards the nearest hotel waiting until the time was right to make their presence known. 

~~LeoAngel~~


	9. Joyous Love

Authors Notes: Hi all! I'm back with another part ^ ^ obviously right! I'm wicked sorry for the delay, but I've been having some problems lol. First being nasty writers block blaaah I hate it!!! But no worries I think I've worked through it! I've finally figured out where I'm gonna go with this after much debating with my mind! And if you know me than you know there was a lot of debating ^ ~ Than my computer crashed and lost the part I was gonna post before ugh figures! Well anyways thanks so much for the people who have been supporting me!! I love to hear that readers like the story ^ ^! And warnings for this part are just its fluffy! I couldn't resist another fluffy chapter heeee it's basically just a filler though! And don't worry there is more to come and hopefully I will be able to get it up faster! 

"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one knows; Love can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at last; To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you love and care for the one you chose." 

-Rob Cella  
  


Sakura woke up to the distant sounds of a pan falling in the kitchen. She opened her eyes in confusion wondering who was in her house. The events occurring yesterday flooded her mind finally registering in her sleep clouded mind. Syaoran came into the bedroom with a plate of what appeared to be the result of all the racket in the kitchen. Sakura smiled softly happy that the events that had taken place hadn't been a dream. If it had she knew she might have just ended her life right then and there. 

"Ohayou Sakura-chan I made some breakfast for you." Syaoran greeted with a smile. He handed her a plate that was filled up with delicious treats that would make anyone drool. Sakura took the plate gratefully, she felt absolutely starved since she hadn't eaten anything decent in a while. 

"Chris brought all this over?" Sakura asked thoughtfully as she dug into the meal

"Some of it… though I went to the store earlier, since you were asleep, and picked up some more food." Syaoran replied.

"Well I'll still have to thank him." Sakura answered.

"Are you feeling better?" Syaoran questioned worry accenting his tone. He pushed the back of his hand softly to her forehead. He sighed in relief noticing the fever had gone down. 

"Yes I do the head aches gone and you just took care of my stomach here. Thanks Syaoran it's wonderful." Sakura stated truthfully. "I still can't believe your back though… I mean everything feels so unreal." 

"I know…" Syaoran replied moving closer to Sakura. She put down the plate and let herself be guided into Syaoran's gentle arms. Lips met softly gently caressing the others; his fingers ran through her silky hair content for the first time in what felt like centuries. 

Syaoran saw the hint of sadness in her emerald orbs at the thought of so many years without him by her side. His own eyes mirrored the thought, but he violently refused to get depressed. After all what was done was done, it was time to live in the now, and appreciate that they did indeed have a second chance. A wonderful second chance that had seemed impossible to Sakura at one time, she still was in shock over the arrival of her true love. 

"Hmmm Sakura… do you feel up to going out?" Syaoran asked thoughtfully knowing that perhaps a day of fun might cheer up the woman of his dreams. Sakura nodded in reply in truth she really didn't want to stay in bed any longer. If she was left in bed than haunting dreams could find her once again, luckily something that Syaoran's presence seemed to keep away. 

"We could go shopping or to the movies… whatever you want love I'm up for anything as long as it's with you." 

"Let's go shopping… than later tonight stop by Chris's" Sakura suggested and Syaoran nodded. 

"Than I suppose we should get ready." Syaoran stated standing with Sakura embracing him tightly. 

"Please don't leave me again Syaoran… ever?" Sakura whispered letting a lone tear escape. He knew she was still emotionally unstable and probably would be for sometime. 

"Of course… I'll be here for you always… I love you so much." Syaoran replied kissing her again. The two held each other for a few minutes tell Sakura reluctantly pulled away. 

"Lets get dressed than." She stated letting a small smile escape. The thought of a whole day with Syaoran after so long, just doing the things they had before, almost made her giddy. 

An hour later the newly reunited couple arrived at the mall. The two mostly window shopped vasking in each others presence, neither letting go of the others hands. They stopped in every store they could find laughing and giggling the whole time. The pair had been there nearly the whole day without any mishaps tell Sakura stopped at one particular store.

Sakura suddenly went rigid; Syaoran was taken by surprised as he was pulled back by his love. He looked over her seeing that tears where threatening to spill from her emerald eyes. She had a vacant look on her face as she stared off into space. Syaoran glanced over to the direction she was starring at noticing she was looking intensely at a small pink dress that would only fit a newborn. She gently caressed the glass of the display case as if she was caressing the fabric itself. 

"Sakura?" Syaoran questioned worriedly trying to pull her out of it. Sakura blinked away the tears looking back at Syaoran. 

"I lost her you know…. we lost her….." Syaoran stared dumbfounded at her. He wasn't quite sure what in the world she was talking about. Than it struck him like a bolt of lightening, before the ordeal the two had been happily in love, but also happily expecting a baby. 

"You must be so mad… it was all my fault… losing you two… it was my fault…" Sakura couldn't force back the tears that flooded down her cheeks. 

Syaoran pulled her close against his chest whipping away the stubborn tears. 

"Shhhh I could never be mad at you… and it wasn't your fault… nothing was… please don't blame yourself…. I hate to see you like this… you can't blame yourself for things that you couldn't have affected." Syaoran soothed placing gentle kisses on her forehead. 

"Sorry." Sakura replied whipping away the rest of the tear streaks. 

"You don't have to apologize… Try not to worry too much…. We have plenty of time to start a family if we choose to alright?" Syaoran said softly. Sakura nodded burying her head in his chest. "Wanna go visit Chris or would you like to go home?"

"Let's go see Chris." Sakura replied. So the two left the mall and went over to their friend's house. When they reached there Sakura rang the doorbell and the two waited for a reply. After a few minutes the door opened revealing a disheveled Tomoyo. 

"Sakura-chan!" She exclaimed jumping and hugging her best friend. She defiantly wasn't expecting Sakura to drop by she rarely went over someone's house just for the hell of it. 

"Tomoyo." Sakura replied happily hugging back she was glad to see her best friend. "We have a lot to talk about." Sakura stated taking Syaoran's hand. 

"Chris filled me in on a bit of the details! But I MUST have a full report!!! And I'm so happy for you Sakura!! For both of you!!" Tomoyo exclaimed moving from Sakura to hug Syaoran. "It's been a while eh? Don't leave us again!" Tomoyo stated forcefully as she let the two in the door. 

"Oh I don't plan on it Tomoyo" Syaoran answered feeling happy to see her after so long, well seeing her and actually remembering who she is at least. 

"Chris! Sakura and Syaoran are here!" Tomoyo yelled into the house. "Come on Sakura we have lots to catch up on! We can leave the guys in here." Tomoyo didn't leave much room for rejection as she pulled the brunette into the opposite room to engage in 'girl talk'. 

"Have I ever told you you have awful timing?" Chris stated grabbing a soda for himself and Syaoran. 

"I'll keep that in mind." Syaoran laughed taking the soda from him. 

"You do realize now that they are in girl talk mood and that we may never see them again… Well for a while at least." Chris stated.

"Than I guess we should make ourselves comfortable ne?" Syaoran and Chris took a seat in the living room talking about nothing in particular, while the two girls in the other room chatting the night away. For the first time in what seemed like eternity all four of these young adults were happy and Syaoran was more determined than ever to keep it that way. 

~~LeoAngel~~


	10. Pain Of Lies And Deception

Author's Notes: Thanks a lot for everyone who reviewed!! I appreciate it ^ ^ 

Sakura-chan thanks for your wonderful reviews lol and yes I did realized after I posted I made Sakura eat soap. Don't you hate when you make a stupid mistake like that and don't realize it tell after you post……. lol oh well you guys got the point ^ ^ you'll have to excuse those stupid mistakes! Even though I reread it I often miss them!.... Yep and my chapters are short!... I do that just to torture u… lol just kidding!! I just happen to get writers block a lot ^ ~!

"Ama me fideliter! Fidem meam noto: De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota."   
_-By Anon_

            Weeks went by since the lovers discovered each other again. They had decided to take some time off from their work to spend time with each other. The days were spent cuddling, talking, and watching movies. Sakura's mental health was slowly but surely stabilizing. Infact she was much better than she had been just last week, even letting Syaoran leave the house without her. Any other guy might find this annoying or to clingy, but Syaoran didn't mind at all. He knew how traumatized they had both been and intended to do everything he could to fix it. 

            Even though Sakura's mental health started to improve unfortunately that wasn't the case for her physical health. Despite Syaoran expertise in cooking Sakura could rarely keep anything down. Which ultimately worried Syaoran beyond no belief. He tried every kind of substance he could think of to try and sooth her stomach, but nothing seem to work. She was losing far too much weight and usually just stared at the food infront of her wearily. The very same thing she was doing at the moment. Syaoran sighed softly knowing she would object to the next suggestion. 

            "Sakura…. Please love… I think you need to see a doctor." Syaoran suggested hopefully. Sakura went stiff, she than smiled softly at Syaoran and picked up her fork and started to eat her food. 

            "But Syaoran love…. there isn't anything wrong!" She stated a bit too forcefully. Syaoran wasn't sure if she was trying to convince himself of this fact or her. Suddenly Sakura's face seemed to turn four shades bluer as she rushed towards the bathroom. Syaoran stared after her letting concern drip off him. He was worried about her and didn't know what to do for her. His practice told him that she was defiantly suffering from something, it looked most likely to be an eating disorder but he couldn't be sure unless some test were ran. 

            Syaoran got up from his kitchen chair and headed in towards the bathroom. Luckily she hadn't had time to lock the door this time, she usually did not wanting to bother Syaoran with such things as this. No matter how many times he told her that he loved her and WANTED to do these things for her. He gentle lifted up her hair as she vomited the rest of what little food she had managed to choke down. He stroked the honey brown hair gentle as her whole body shuttered. Syaoran's eyes went wide as he saw the substance coming out, there was food, but also mixed up with it was blood. Fear suddenly clenched up in Syaoran's heart, one did not just cough up blood for nothing. He bit his tongue urging the feelings down knowing that Sakura needed his support at the moment. 

            She finally lifted her head and let out a chocked sob. Syaoran pulled her close rubbing her aching body gentle. 

            "What's wrong with me Syaoran?" She half sobbed half chocked into his chest. She shivered her body weary from not being able to keep anything down. 

            "Shhh I don't know…. but you need to be checked out… ok?" Syaoran questioned. Sakura was too weak to protest so she just nodded knowing it would ease Syaoran's tension. He had been extremely tense these last few weeks whenever she got sick. The last thing she wanted to do was make him unhappy, so she would comply with his wishes. Syaoran stood up gentle lifting up Sakura with him. She had fallen back into unconsciousness which made Syaoran even more weary. 

            "Please be ok." Syaoran whispered barely audible as he pushed his face into her soft hair. He tried to force the tears away from his eyes, but one managed to escape. He had to stay strong for her she was counting on him and he wouldn't fail her again. 

************************************************************************

            Tomoyo tapped her fingers thoughtfully against her desk. After her long chat with Sakura she had unintentionally come across some disturbing information that wouldn't leave her mind. Sakura had mentioned that Chris had been the doctor who had treated them in the past. Now that Tomoyo thought about it, it made a lot of sense after all she had met Chris originally when she was visiting Sakura in the hospital. She had never really known the doctor who had been assigned to Sakura and Syaoran. Tomoyo brushed her fingers through her hair sighing deeply. It didn't make sense though, why wouldn't he have mentioned such a fact, and just how did Syaoran end up being dead. Sakura had said something about his mother bribing a doctor… but if Chris had been the doctor…

            "No that can't be right… I mean he would have told me before right…?" Tomoyo thought out loud. She decided the only way to figure this out was to obviously ask him. She glanced at her watch noting that the young doctor should be home anytime. 

            Just as that thought ran through her head the door opened to reveal an exhausted looking Chris. 

            "Hey Tomoyo." He greeted kissing her lightly on the lips. He put his arms around her pulling her into a standing position. "I missed you." He stated before letting his lips once again caress hers. Tomoyo almost lost herself in the emotions, but that annoying voice inside her urged her to get to the bottom of this mystery. 

            "Hmmm Chris… Sakura said that you were the doctor that treated her…. Were you? How come you never told me?" Tomoyo asked softly. Chris went rigid knowing that the day he had dreaded had finally come. He backed out of Tomoyo's arms glancing around the room to anyplace but Tomoyo. This only irked Tomoyo more and she knew the man now did actually have something to hide. "Well?" She questioned becoming a bit impatient. 

            "I was the doctor that treated Sakura." Chris replied glancing back to Tomoyo. She frowned slightly not liking the direction this was heading. 

            "And why didn't you tell me?" Tomoyo asked her voice tensing. 

            "I guess… the right time… just never came." Chris answered wincing at the tone she was using. 

            "So than were you the doctor that also treated Syaoran?" Tomoyo voiced already knowing the answer. Chris nodded letting his head hang low. "And you are also the one who informed us that Syaoran was indeed dead?" Tomoyo again already knew the answer but she needed it to be confirmed. 

            "Tomoyo it wasn't like that! I didn't know either of you! His mother threatened my career, MY LIFE! You know that I had nothing back then except my job! My parents didn't believe I could make it they thought I was a failure. If I lost that job I would have lost what little respect I gained from them!" Chris tried to explain frantically. 

            "And what about now?!? You knew Sakura now… you knew Syaoran now!! For God sakes you know me now!! And you didn't think to voice this information that you had!! It could have help Syaoran piece together what happen a lot earlier!! You've caused so much pain to Sakura her health has deteriorated! She'll probably never be the same again!! This is all your fault! My god I can't believe my boyfriend is responsible for my best friends ruined life!" Tomoyo yelled furiously. 

            "Tomoyo please try and understand!!" Chris tried to grab her wrist but she pulled away almost violently. 

            "No you understand. You've hurt the one person who has always been there for me! You weren't even planning on telling me were you?!?!" 

            "I wanted to! But Tomoyo I love you I didn't want to ruin what we have! I didn't know how much she meant to you back than, but I do now! Please Tomoyo!" 

            "No get out of my house… and out of my life!... I don't want to ever see you again!" They both stood in stunned silence both realizing that this truly was the end. 

            "Tomoyo…" 

            "Chris.. Just leave." Tomoyo stated forcefully. Chris bowed his head again knowing that things would never be the same. He had hurt someone that meant the world to Tomoyo.

            As the door shut the tears that she had been holding back flooded down her cheeks. Chris only made it to his car before his own tears were shed. 

************************************************************************

            "Mother please! Why do you have to destroy his life even more! You're already driven him away once! Isn't obvious he doesn't want to be in China! Why can't you just respect his decision?!" Leena exclaimed for the millionth time. 

            "And how many times do I have to explain to you that he is the only one who can run our clan! It his duty whether he wants it or not!" Li-san replied back just as hotly as her daughter. 

            "This is a big city! What makes you even think we will be able to find him?" Leena questioned glancing around the city. It was indeed huge and to find one person seemed to be no small task. Leena had to give it to Xiao Lang he certainly knew how to pick a city to hide in.

            "We just have to give my contacts a little time and we will know where he is." Li-san replied making Leena sigh in return. She wished she could get a hold of her brother before their mother found him. She desperately wanted to warn him of their presence. But as stated before Leena had no idea where he was, so there was no way to get in contact with him. She could only hope that their mother came up empty handed, which seemed highly doubtful. When Li-san wanted something she got it… and by any means possible. 

************************************************************************

            Syaoran paced the hospital hallway back and forth for what seem like hours. He hadn't checked Sakura out himself knowing that he was to close to the problem. It wasn't good to be emotionally involved in stuff such as this. The doctor that was checking on her though had insisted he stayed out here despite his many protests. Which of course he knew it made sense, but that didn't mean he liked it one bit. Syaoran ran a hand through his soft silky hair glancing towards the clock. 

            Sakura walked out of the room she had been in with the doctor. 

            "Sakura!" Syaoran exclaimed gently wrapping his arms around her. She smiled softly leaning her head on his shoulder. A slight yawn escaped her lips and her eyes shut tiredly. 

            "What did the doctor say?" Syaoran asked running a hand through her honey brown hair. 

            "He ran some tests but the results won't be back for a few days. So he can't tell until they come back." Sakura answered. Syaoran nodded wishing that these things could go faster. 

            "How are you feeling?" Syaoran questioned worry etching his voice. 

            "Hmmm tired… Let's go home." Syaoran guided Sakura to the car and the two spent a quiet evening at home. Despite what the test results showed they where both confident they would overcome it together. After all they had already come this far and it seemed that any obstacle thrown at them could be defeated. 

~~LeoAngel~~

Translation for above quote 

_Latin_: "Love me faithfully!/See how I am faithful:/With all my heart/And all my soul/I am with you/Though I am far away."


	11. Merciless Fate

Author's Notes: I'm back!!! *sobs* no don't all run away from me!! *sobs* I'm not that scary… coughs well most of the time… heee hope you enjoy this part… and thanks to all who reviewed last time! ^ ^ please do again! 

**_"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." _**

**_Judy Garland_**

Sakura yawned sleepily as she woke up from a blissful night of sleep. For once she hadn't waken up from a nightmare or from the need to vomit. She sighed happily nuzzling her cheek against Syaoran's bare muscular chest.

"How are you feeling?" Syaoran questioned behind a yawn as his eyes fluttered open. He swept gentle fingers into her honey brown hair twisting one of the strands around her finger. 

"Ok… though I haven't eaten yet." Sakura stated enjoying the feel of Syaoran playing with her hair. 

"Do you think you can try eating something?" Syaoran asked pulling her body towards his. Sakura purred lightly as their legs intertwined, body heat flowing from one another. Syaoran gently kissed the top of her forehead while pushing back stray strands of hair. 

"I don't know…" Sakura sighed lightly wishing she could eat something. She knew it would ease Syaoran's tension, but she was just afraid it would come back up. Nothing would stay down and she knew this would only worry him more. Sakura pushed back the silent tears that almost overflowed from her eyes. She wasn't going to cry from here on out no matter what was happening, she knew it only upset Syaoran, and that was something she had done way to much. 

"Its ok… the doctor will find what's wrong and give you some antibiotics and than everything will be fine. I'm sure it's just some sort of stomach flu that's going around." Syaoran stated giving a small smile to the young woman in his arms. Anybody who knew Syaoran and had seen him happy, though could tell that this was plainly obvious a forced smile. Sakura wasn't sure if he was trying to convince herself of this outcome or himself, she shook her head lightly deciding that the answer was probably both. 

"Hopefully." She mumbled lightly into his chest. The words were said so softly that Syaoran barely caught them, but he had defiantly heard the lack of hope in her strained words. 

"Everything WILL be ok… We've been through a lot… nothing can stop us ne?" Syaoran stated more forcefully putting his soft hands on her cheek. Sakura stared into his eyes seeing the despair, pain, hope, and above all love in his eyes. She knew that he needed to know everything would be ok… but the fact of the matter was, she didn't know, not yet at least. Sakura didn't want to give him false hope, but she certainly didn't want him to fall into depression either. 

"We'll get through this, one way or another." Sakura replied kissing his cheek softly. Syaoran nodded letting a real smile grace his features, Sakura letting herself lose the tension that had aroused within her body. 

"We should probably get dressed… we slept pretty late and we are suppose to be at the hospital soon to get your test results." Syaoran stated glancing at the clock. Sakura nodded as Syaoran pulled himself and her out of bed. The two got dressed hurriedly as they noticed they would indeed be late. Neither bothered to grab any breakfast, Sakura for obvious reasons, and Syaoran because he didn't feel like eating alone, it just didn't feel right. 

Sakura and Syaoran sat in the parking lot of the Hospital, neither moving. Neither was ready to face something that could be so life altering. 

"What if it's not just stomach flu?" Syaoran whispered softly blinking his eyes lightly as if the thought just crossed his mind. Sakura knew that the fact hadn't just now crossed his mind though, but rather had been pushed to the very back where he could possible forget about it. "I love you so much…" Syaoran let the statement lie in the heavily filled air. Sakura brushed her hand lightly against Syaoran's, after a few moments she more firmly grasped her lovers hand in hopes of giving him a little reassurance. She hadn't trusted her voice at a time like this, not when she was struggling with tears of her own. 

"Let's go in…" Sakura stated opening the car door. Syaoran followed wrapping his arms around her waist as they slowly walked to the hospital entrance. "It will be alright don't worry Syao-chan." She whispered kissing him softly on the lips. 

The two entered and were immediately told to relax in the waiting room; the doctor would be with them when he was done with his other patient. Instead of sitting Syaoran went to the task of pacing while Sakura watched him silently. It felt like an eternity tell the doctor finally arrived carrying a yellowish folder. Syaoran nodded his face was grim and dreading, knowing that the worst part of a doctor's job was telling the patient that they were terminally ill made Syaoran even more anxious. 

"Ms. Kinomoto how are you feeling today?" The doctor asked pushing up his glasses in thought. 

"Not to bad." Sakura replied.

"Have you eaten anything?" Sakura only shook her head to the comment. 

"Did you get the tests back yet?" Syaoran asked getting right to the point, he didn't want to have to wait any longer. Not knowing was the worst part of having to deal with something like this. 

"Yes I have…" When the doctor didn't continue Syaoran's panic rose a bit more. The doctor sighed half heartily flipping open the folder. "I'm afraid Sakura has gastric cancer, also known as stomach cancer." 

"Cancer…?" Syaoran ask downfounded as he fell back into his chair. Sakura instantly seeked out the warmth and comfort of his hand.

"I'm afraid so…"

"What's the cause of it… and can it be treated?" Sakura asked surprisingly keeping quite calm about the information. 

"There is no one cause of it, and sometimes these things just happen. As for treatment there are three forms surgery, radiation therapy, and chemotherapy. The stage of your cancer is unfortunately advanced and your only choice of treatment would be the surgery." The doctor stated pausing so that the two could get all that information straight. 

"What are the chances that I will die?" Sakura asked the question they were both dreading. 

"You would need a total gastrectomy which is when the surgeon removes all of the stomach, as well as some of the tissue around the stomach. After a total gastrectomy, the doctor connects the esophagus directly to the small intestine. Because cancer can spread through the lymphatic system, lymph nodes near the tumor are often removed during surgery so that the pathologist can check them for cancer cells. If cancer cells are in the lymph nodes, the disease may have spread to other parts of the body. This surgery could go either way depending on if we get all the cancerous cells. There is a fifty percent chance you will live, and a fifty percent chance you won't. I'm truly sorry, but there is a chance that you will walk away from this completely fine, so I think it's better to stay on the bright side." The doctor tried to sound enthuastic but giving a patient such news always took a lot out of somebody. 

"When does the surgery need to be done?" Sakura asked sparing a glance at Syaoran. His eyes were shut tightly and he seemed to refuse to open them. Her face twisted in worry as she held his hand even tighter. 

"Soon, so that we can get it before the cancer spreads even more, but for now you two should go home and talk this over. If you have any questions at all just call me." Sakura nodded to him and the doctor left to check on other patients. Neither moved from their stops stunned from the information they had just found out. 

"It's so surreal… you always hear about people dying of cancer… but you never think that it will be you, or someone you know." Sakura whispered her thoughts trying to get a bit of acknowledgement out of Syaoran besides the frantic grasp of his hand. 

"You're not going to die Sakura." Syaoran stated determination flooded violently within his voice. He opened his eyes which only blazed with more resolve. "I won't let you, I love you to much." 

"Oh Syaoran… I love you to." They wrapped their arms around each other in a silent promise to do whatever they could to stay together. Syaoran also made a silent promise to himself he would do everything in his power to stop this. Unfortunately sometimes love such as this isn't enough to keep the person we care most about by our side, because fate and destiny truly have a mind of their own, and their paths can never be seen by a mere mortal. 

~~Sora-chan~~

More Author's Notes: Ok ok so your probably going stomach cancer… wow that's random… yes I know it is… but that is the workings of my brain… poor Sakura-chan… waaaah I'm so mean…. Ok you'll have to forgive me if the cancer information or the hospital information is completely accurate… This is all from research I've done on it!... Well thanks again for reading! 


	12. Tender Kisses

Ok First off I have a question… has anyone read a story about Sakura being like a princess and than her kingdom is destroyed or something by an evil king who than takes her in as a slave or to be his future wife. In this kingdom she meets Syaoran who is king's brother I believe and he doesn't really wanna take over the world and whatnot. He and Sakura fall in love but since the king is going to marry her they can't be in love. Syaoran is sent off somewhere… I think it had to do with the elders or something… and he decides to bring Sakura with him making him break the law…. I think before he broke Sakura out he was to be executed because he defended Sakura for something… than his other brother who he was more close to traded places with him and took his execution for him…. *blinks* ok I probably just confused you all…. But I have been searching for this story for a while and can't find it… so I beg you guys!!! *sobs* does anyone know the name?!?!?!... *Sighs* now onto the real authors note's lol 

Authors Note's: Well hello my friends!!! It has been a while… of course it usually always is a while between my random spurs of writing…. Heh… sorry for making you wait so long. Yea yea I know I made you guys wait even longer than usually… coughs… well the reason for that being VACATION FUN ^ ~…. I've been away a lot and hanging with friends and stuff hehe… so not much time for brainstorming!... but I did finally find time to write! So I hope you all enjoyed! And I thank everyone who has stayed with me through this rough journey… I actually just realized its been more than a year since I started this… heh… yes yes I'm slow I know ^ ~ well anyways I shall let you continue enjoy!!!

**_"Live each day as if it were your last, because one day it will be." _**

****

**_(from movie 'Life or something like it') _**

"Cancer?" Tomoyo asked her heart clutching in her chest. She wiped her eyes harshly trying to keep the tears that demanded escape away. She had just lost her boyfriend and now this; she didn't know how much more she could take. Plus the fact that Syaoran and Sakura just found each other after, it just wasn't fair. What did any of them do to deserve this? "There there must be some mistake Sakura…." Tomoyo stuttered trying to make sense of the whole situation, how could this be happening to her best friend, the only person in the world she had left to count on. This couldn't be real, it just couldn't. 

"You can't have cancer!" Kero stated angrily. He fluttered back and fourth between the girls fuming silently. This wasn't suppose to happen, the clow mistress wasn't suppose to die this early, and certainly not by means of some disease. There just HAD to be a mistake. 

"Did you get a second opinion? Are you sure? This can't be true!" Kero questioned crossing his tiny arms. 

"It's true." Sakura answered quietly. They had no idea how much it hurt to give them this information, she knew it would hurt both of them, yet it had to be done. She knew that much. 

"We have to do something than… magic or something there has to be something!" Kero continued. 

"You can't fix this with magic Kero… I'm sorry." Sakura replied.

"This shouldn't be happening to you… not you." Tomoyo cried. 

"Oh Tomoyo…" Sakura whispered wiping the lone tear away from her cheek that had managed to escape. Sakura wrapped her arms around her best friend in comfort. Tomoyo buried her head in Sakura's shoulder letting a few tears flow down her cheeks. After a few minutes Tomoyo calmed down and sat back staring at Sakura.

"There's a cure?" She asked hopefully dreading the answer. 

"There's a surgery I'm going to have….." Sakura paused before she continued, "There's no guarantee it will work, the doctors are hopeful, but they have to be." Sakura answered truthfully. She could never and did not want to lie to her best friend. She didn't want to give her any false hope that would hurt even more. 

Kero decided the two probably wanted some alone time to talk, so he left and laid down on the bed. He curled up into a little ball letting sobs wrack his body. He hadn't wanted to upset Sakura so he had just let out his anger instead of his complete despair. He didn't want to lose Sakura; he had already lost so many people. When Clow reed died he had been devastated and now he was about to lose another master. Due to Sakura's brother dying Kero had also lost the closest thing he had left to a brother, Yue. Kero lifted up his head scratching his ear lightly; he silently wondered how the Chinese gaki was taking the news. He was certain that the kid was taking it much worse than himself, they all loved Sakura yet that gaki was her soul mate, he must be dying inside. Kero knew he wouldn't show much of his pain to Sakura in hopes of not stressing her anymore. He also knew that the gaki would probably just suffer alone, which was certainly not good for his health. Kero sighed lightly deciding he would go see if Syaoran was ok, strictly for Sakura's sake of course, or at least that's what he told himself. 

The full moon was shining brightly, the stars lining the dark sky. Not a cloud was in sight, at least physically. Syaoran couldn't help but feel his whole body was clouded. His mind felt numb nightmares plaguing his fully alert mind. He sighed heavily throwing a small rock across the water; it skimmed four times before sinking to the bottom of the lake like his heart. His tears had already long ago dried up, the trails still evident on his cheeks. Sakura had asked if she could talk to Tomoyo alone and he had briskly obliged the request. He had needed sometime alone to go through his thoughts. He didn't want to break down again infront of Sakura; she had enough on her plate than to deal with him. Syaoran couldn't help but feel he was being cheated, he had just found his soul mate only for her to be taken away. He wondered what horrible deed he had committed in a past life which apparently merited him to suffer in his present. The wind suddenly picked up a bit sending more violent shivers up his spine. 

"At this rate you'll catch a cold kid." Kero stated simply fluttering next to Syaoran. Syaoran spared a brief glance to the card guardian before returning his gaze to the open dark void of the sky. Kero studied Syaoran's features taking note to the dried tear tracks and the redden cheeks that had replaced the brave annoying kid he had challenged day after day. Neither of the two spoke for quite a while both wrapped up in their own worrying thoughts. 

"She'll be ok…" Kero whispered softly after a while, "She's strong… she's lasted so much." Syaoran didn't reply right away, after all he knew Sakura was the strangest person he had ever met, and had been saying the very same thing to himself for the past hour. 

"There's only so much a human can take." He replied back. Kero looked at the gaki in surprise seeing the despair and loss of hope in his glistened brown eyes. 

"So what you are giving up on her? Signing her death warrant?... Well you may be able to do that but I can't, not now, not every!" Kero answered his voice rising with anger, not necessary at Syaoran, but at the whole situation. He hated the human race for not coming up with a cure for this blasted disease, hated it because there was a chance that his mistress would be stolen away from him forever. 

Syaoran sighed lightly going over Kero's words, he was right and he knew it. He couldn't give up on Sakura now, if he gave up than there was no chance at all, and a little chance is better than no chance. 

"Your right…" Syaoran replied softly rubbing at his redden face. Kero chuckled a bit shaking his head lightly as Syaoran gazed at him questionable. 

"You know kid I think that's the first time you have ever said that to me" To that Syaoran himself cracked a small smile before replying.

"That's because this is the only time you have been right, so don't get use to it." Syaoran rubbed his arms trying to warm them up suddenly becoming aware of the cold.

"I'll get you back for that snide remark some other time, for now I was serious before your going to catch a cold and get sick, than what good are you to Sakura?" Kero stated matter of factly. Syaoran nodded pulling himself of the ground. 

"Than I suppose we should head back." Syaoran started heading home with the flying guardian close to his back. He stared at the sky while walking a new sense of hope inside him, he caught a glimpse of a streak going across the sky, a shooting star, and he made a wish putting all his heart into that longing wish, he didn't care the cost, he just wanted that wish granted. 

Sakura looked up as she heard the door slowly creak open. A cold drift of air flowed into the room sending shivers up Sakura's back. Syaoran stood in the doorway a minute just glancing at his love. Sakura gestured for him to come in, but quietly. Tomoyo's head was in her lap as she stroked the long gorgeous locks that flowed slickly down her back. Tomoyo had long ago cried herself to sleep much to Sakura's dismay. She hadn't wanted to give Tomoyo such pain, but there was nothing she could do. After Kero fluttered into the room opting to go to bed for tonight Syaoran silently closed the door. He than walked over to stand behind Sakura bending down to kiss her temple. Sakura sighed happily lifting one of her hands to stroke Syaoran's neck. 

"I love you so much." Syaoran whispered into her ear playing with a honey brown strand of hair. Sakura purred softly loving the feel of Syaoran's touch, even if the surgery didn't go well, she would die happy. She had gotten to see Syaoran again, and that had truly only been her last wish. Of course she wished they had more time together, but she was grateful for just this moment. 

Sakura carefully slipped out from underneath Tomoyo softly kissing her cheek goodnight. She pulled the blanket up close around Tomoyo's shoulders in attempt to keep her warm. 

"Let's go into the bedroom." Sakura whispered as Syaoran wrapped his arms around her waist. The two headed into their small bedroom and sat silently on the bed. Syaoran ran his fingertips gentle against Sakura's arm sending slight chills through her. 

"Syaoran…?" Sakura started looking anywhere but at her love that sat next to her. Syaoran gazed lovely at her before answering squeezing her arm lightly to let her know he was there for her always. 

"What is it?" He asked softly knowing that she was troubled. There was a long pause before she continued searching the floor intensely as if it held all the answers to the world. She suddenly moved her gaze to Syaoran staring straight into his love glazed eyes. 

"If… If this surgery doesn't work…" Sakura started but was interrupted.

"It will work Sakura… it will." 

"Shhh… let me finish…" She softly ran her hand along his cheek memorizing it with all her heart. If she left this world she wanted to leave it knowing every inch of Syaoran. 

"If it doesn't work… Promise me… Promise me you will go on Syaoran." Sakura stated tears falling down her cheeks. Syaoran hadn't expected her to ask him this he turned his gaze away not wanting to upset her, but not knowing if he could promise such a thing. Sure he had lived years without her… but he had forgotten about her, he had had amnesia, now that he had his memory…. Well he couldn't image a life without her, nor did he want to. "Please Syaoran… I know it will hurt… but don't destroy yourself… Everything in this world has a reason for its happenings, no matter how unfair it may seem it has a reason even if we can't see it right now. Syaoran… if it so happens that I'm meant to go on, than I don't want you to follow me before it is your time to, please Syaoran can you promise me this? Promise me you will live on and be happy. Someday you may find another, and if you do than don't hesitate to grasp that chance at happiness because of any depth to me, because all I've ever wanted was your happiness. God Syaoran I love you so much." Syaoran let a few tears escape his eyes before wiping at his eyes. 

"There will never be another Sakura." He stated softly running a warm hand along her cheek. "You have always been everything to me, even when I couldn't remember I knew you were missing, god Sakura how can I go on without you. How can I go on without my heart, without my soul?" Syaoran whispered his voice hoarse from the tears. Sakura bent over their lips intertwining into one. They poured their hearts out into that kiss each grasping the other like it would be their last. Sakura suddenly pulled away slightly hovering over Syaoran's lips. 

"Please." She whispered wrapping her arms around his neck gazing deeply into his eyes. He nuzzled her nose lightly running a hand through her hair.

"I could never refuse you anything… I promise, but I will love you forever." Syaoran answered truthfully.

"And so shall I." Sakura replied bringing them into another kiss. This time it was more rushed than tender, the passion from both reaching out to wrap around the other. Syaoran gently laid Sakura back against the bed their lips never parting from each others. Hands ran over each others sensitive skin memorizing and rediscover every part of the other. "Syaoran make us one tonight…. forever" Sakura whispered into his ear sending soft shivers up both their bodies. And that night they did become one again heart, body, and soul. No matter what the outcome of the surgery was neither would forget this night; neither would forget the rare emotions that flowed through their very bodies. They belonged to each other and only each other, tonight and for the rest of time. 

~~Leoangel… Sora-chan… Siberian…~~ eh whatever you wanna call me… lol 


	13. Intricate Decisions

Author's Notes: *hits computer* I lost my hard drive AGAIN!!!! Meaning I lost all my stories!!! Which I'm pissed about cause I had a part to Sinful tears done ~ ~! *Sighs* So sorry to anyone else reading my other fics… but a chapt of this story did get done… so that's good ^ ^!.... THANKS so much to everyone who helped me find that story!!!!! The one I wanted was The Guiding Star!!! Thanks a loooooooooooooooooot!!!!.... And sakurakawaiicherry I do know that all that crap is on the first few chapters… *Shrugs* didn't mean it to be but it is and I'm just too lazy to fix it… and plus its stop doing it so no harmed done. Anyways thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this chapt ^ ^!

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."

Lao-Tzu   


Syaoran paced the hospital waiting room like a caged animal. He would walk briskly from one side of the room, pause slightly than start the whole sequence over sick again. 

"He's making me nauseas." Kero muttered from his hiding place within Tomoyo's pocketbook. He had refused to stay home at a time like this, but obviously couldn't be seen in public, so Tomoyo offered this hiding place for him. 

"Syaoran, I know you are worried, we all are… but perhaps you should sit down." Tomoyo stated looking up from her book; she gently patted the seat next to her to indicate he should sit down. After her break down in front of Sakura she had quickly realized that she had to return to her natural calm and collected self, Both Sakura and Syaoran needed some of her strength which she would give to them gladly. 

Syaoran sat down in the seat Tomoyo had pointed to and sighed heavily. He stared at the clock urging the minutes to pass quicker. 

"Sakura is strong, we must believe in her strength that she will get through this." Tomoyo stated softly returning to her book, which she hadn't really been paying attention to. She couldn't concentrate on the words they seem to blur everytime she tried. After a few more futile attempts she placed the book down and glanced at Syaoran who had remained silent.

"God Tomoyo what if she isn't ok?" Syaoran asked barely audible, he pushed back the urging tears knowing this wasn't the time. 

"Than we will have to get by, just like we promised her." Tomoyo answered truthfully. She didn't want to think about living a life without Sakura, but she couldn't ignore it. 

"Its not suppose to be people we know getting these types of things… it's always so distant… no one really understands the pain tell it hits you yourself." Syaoran thought out loud trying to make sense of the world. Since he had gotten his memory back he just couldn't help but feel cheated. 

"I know Syaoran… god do I know…" Tomoyo answered quietly. 

"God I was robbed of a marriage with her for so long… we were going to have a child for god sakes… but than everything was taken… and now there's a high possibility that it will happen again." Syaoran sighed running a hand through his hair. He wanted to curse whatever high deity for choosing his life to screw up, but he didn't have the energy. 

"Doctor!" Syaoran exclaimed jumping out of his seat. The doctor, a man in an immaculate white coat with brownish red hair and a tinge of gray came in to appearance. He sighed softly checking over his charts while walking over to Syaoran and Tomoyo. 

"How is it going?" Tomoyo asked knowing that Syaoran was to nervous to ask himself. 

"I'm afraid there has been a complication." The doctor stated grimly taking off his glasses and wiping them down. 

"What's wrong? Oh god she's ok right? Please she's alright?!?!" Syaoran asked hurriedly panic almost taking over.

"Oh yes she's alright for now, its just we weren't able to perform the surgery yet." The doctor explained vaguely. 

"Why not?" Tomoyo questioned.

"We discovered she is with child. I admit it was stupid of us not to check before hand, but it really never crossed my mind that she could be pregnant. It showed up on our last test before we started." The doctor explained tapping his pen over his clip board. Syaoran stared eyes opened wide for a few minutes trying to comprehend what the doctor just said. His limbs almost gave out on him as he fell clumsily to a chair. 

"She's… she's pregnant." Syaoran whispered more to himself than to the doctor. He ran a hand through his hair trying to sooth his raging nerves even more. 

Tomoyo was shocked herself quite a bit but she refused to fall apart at a time like this, she wouldn't do that again as she had promised already. 

"What do we do now?" Tomoyo questioned voicing both their thoughts. 

"Well we can not go through with the operation while the child is still in her. The risk is just too high; she would have to have an abortion before we could operate." The doctor stated heavily pausing so the other two could think. 

"And what if she doesn't want to have an abortion?" Syaoran asked barely audible dreading the answer. 

"There's a high chance that the baby won't be affected at all by this, but I must tell you there is a high risk that the pregnancy would just be too much for Sakura. It all depends on how rapidly this cancer spreads and affects her. You need to know if she waits this pregnancy out that there is less chance for the operation to work. The ultimate decision is up to Sakura herself though. We haven't told her yet; in fact she should just be waking up soon. I assume that you are the father, we figured you would want to tell her." The doctor assumed writing a few things down as Syaoran nodded slightly. "Talk it over with her than let me know your decision." The doctor added before heading in the direction of the emergency room. Tomoyo and Syaoran sat in silence for a few minutes neither knowing what to say to the other. 

"I don't know whether to laugh or cry." Syaoran muttered rubbing at his eyes. "A child, god knows I've always wanted one, but at a time like this…." Syaoran drifted off not finishing the statement. 

"I know… She'll want to keep it you know, despite all the odds." Tomoyo stated a fact that they both knew. 

"That's what scares me." Syaoran answered he than got up deciding he would go see her now. Tomoyo stayed seated knowing the two would need a few minutes alone to discuss such a hard decision. 

Syaoran walked slowly to the door that he knew Sakura was behind. He wanted a child, he really did, but not at the expensive of Sakura. He stood outside her door for a few minutes pondering what he was going to say… what could he say? He shook his head clearing his thoughts as he opened the door.

Sakura layed sprawled out on the white hospital bed, dressed in a white gown. Everything in the room was absolutely immaculate; there was something utterly eerie about a room being that clean. Sakura was still sleeping that much Syaoran could tell; he deeply studied her features frowning slightly at what he saw. Her skin was even paler than before; something he didn't quite think was possible. Somehow her body look a bit frailer which obviously made him nervous. Despite those growing factors she was still the most beautiful person he had ever layed eyes on. Her honey brown hair lightly framed her face which had a small smile on it as if she knew a secret was hidden inside her. Syaoran sighed softly as he sat down he wasn't willing to wake her up from her much needed sleep, so he gently ran his fingertips down her arms as he awaited her awakening. 

Sakura sighed happily in her sleep as a light warm presence filled her. She felt warm and fuzzy all around especially near her arm. After a few minutes of trying to decide whether to end this blissful sleep or awaken she took to the latter. Her bright emerald greens eyes opened slightly trying to adjust to the blinding light of the room. She blinked dazedly not recognizing the room to be her own. The only thing she did recognize was the silent figure brushing his hands against her silky skin. 

"Syaoran." She whispered gently reaching up her own hand to intertwined with Syaoran's. 

"How are you feeling love?" Syaoran whispered placing a kiss to her forehead. Her smile grew brighter at the contact loving the skin on skin feel. 

"Tired… but not to bad..." Sakura replied telling the truth. She was extremely tired but then again that wasn't any different than how she had been feeling for a while. 

"I love you so much." Syaoran answered this time kissing her on the lips. The kiss was soft and gently but there was an under lining of need and desperation behind it, which Sakura could clearly feel. She made sure to hide her feelings of alarm from Syaoran before voicing her next question. 

"What happened?" She asked knowing that something was possible wrong. Syaoran only smiled lightly at her while running his hands through her soft hair. "What is it?" She asked again urging him to answer when he had not replied. 

"You're pregnant Sakura." Syaoran answered gently bringing her hand to his lips for another soft kiss. Sakura sat stunned for a few minutes not fully understanding the words that had come out of her loves mouth. She had been prepared to hear a lot of things, some worse than others, but being pregnant was certainly not one of them. 

"Pregnant?" Sakura answered dumbfounded. 

"Yes." Syaoran replied. A few more minutes of silence went by as Syaoran gave her some time to comprehend his news. 

"Oh my god… we are going to have a baby." Sakura finally burst out a small smile forming on her face. She hugged Syaoran hardly to her kissing his cheek. When he didn't give the same enthusiastic reply she became somewhat alarmed resting back down into her pillows. "You aren't happy Syaoran?" She asked her voice coming out more afraid than she would have liked. Despite everything that had happened she was still afraid that he would leave her because of something like this. She knew it was stupid but just look at the way he was acting, he didn't seem very happy at all and that's one of the things she wanted most in life. 

"Sakura…" Syaoran started already knowing the thoughts flying through her mind. "Its not that I don't want a child, because I do, god I want to be a parent with you, but it's just…. The timing Hun." Syaoran stated. Sakura's face fell immediately she had completely forgotten about her sickness, why she had truly been in the hospital. 

"Oh god Syaoran is the baby in danger?" Sakura questioned frantically. "What's what's going to happen now?" 

"Shhhhh." Syaoran ran his hands more through her hair in a soothing manor. 

"The doctor said that there is a very good possibility that the cancer will not affect the child, but the operation can not go on while you have the child Sakura. We would have to wait nine months tell you have given birth, if you don't get an abortion, and by that time it might be to late." Syaoran explained. "Don't don't make a decision without thinking this through Sakura… please." Sakura nodded slowly listening carefully to every word Syaoran spoke. She knew by the tone of his voice which course of action he preferred. 

"What… What do you want to do Sakura?" Syaoran questioned barely audible gazing at his lover. Sakura was silent before she answered, and that silence was probably the longest period in Syaoran's life so far. 

TBC

I know I'm evil at stopping it there hehe ^ ^! Anyways this medical information is in no way true as far as I know. I'm too lazy to do any more research than I have so please don't review or email me saying 'that's not true!! Blah blah blah' in order for this story to work I'm making changes… cause I can do that cause I'm an author ^ ^ hehehe!!! Thank you again for reading!!!!


	14. Exhausting Obstacles

Author's notes: Yes another chapter!... geez I'm really getting bad with updating heh… I seriously meant to update before now… but it was my bday dec 18! And xmass! And everything gets crazy around this time of year eh?! So that's my excuse lol. Anyways I hope everyone enjoys and as always thanks a ton for the reviews! I love all you guys ^ ^! 

**_& through this place of  
love move  
(with brightness of peace)  
all places_**

**_yes_****_ is a world  
& in this world of  
yes live  
(skilfully curled)  
all worlds _**

**_~Unknown~_**

"Running away never fixed anything." Her voice trembled, her eyes tracing a raindrop streaking down the window glass. 

"Sakura… it's not running away…. Sometimes… our bodies… just can't handle these things… and the doctors don't know if yours can…" Syaoran answered wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"Syaoran… I can't give up… not now." Sakura whispered burying her head in his chest. He had already known what Sakura would do, the loss of their other child still sharp and painful. 

"If you're sure…" 

"I am… Syaoran.. I know this is going to be hard, but this baby deserves a chance at life and I will give it the best one possible." Sakura stated firmly. Syaoran nodded slightly tightening his hold. They both knew their next road wouldn't be easy, but then again life for the two hadn't been easy as it was. "Can I go home for now Syaoran?" Sakura asked tiredly, she was sick of hospitals she just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed with Syaoran. 

"Let me go talk to the doctors and let them know our decision." Syaoran replied heading for the door. He walked through the door closing it softly as Sakura drifted off to sleep. He knew it would come to this the moment this new event had been announced. He wasn't sure how he felt about it, sure he wanted a child, but at the expense of his love? What he thought didn't matter though; he knew if Sakura gave up this baby she would never forgive herself, it would slowly kill her inside just as easily as the cancer could. He sighed deeply rubbing at his tired eyes, he didn't want to lose Sakura, but he certainly also didn't want her to be haunted the rest of her life, which would definitely happen. 

"You ok?" Tomoyo asked concerned dripping from her voice as Syaoran walked to the waiting area.

"Just tired." He replied seating himself down for a few minutes to process the night's events. She could tell he was extremely tired and wouldn't be surprised if he fell right over. 

"I take it she is going to keep the baby?" Tomoyo asked already knowing the answer. She knew Sakura better then a sister and this was the only option for Sakura, she was too selfless for her own good. Syaoran nodded slightly only confirming Tomoyo's thoughts. 

"I honestly don't know if she can handle this, pregnancy is hard enough when you're healthy." Syaoran stated. He had heard stories of his sisters being borne and knew none of them had been especially easy. 

"But its Sakura for you… if anyone can do it… its her." Tomoyo answered positively but inside fearing the worse. 

"Why don't you go in there and see her… you haven't been able to in a while." Syaoran stated thoughtfully knowing this was just as hard for Tomoyo. 

"Alright… as long as your going to be ok?" Tomoyo questioned warning evident in her tone. 

"Yea I'll be fine go on and see her, I know she will be happy to see you." He replied pushing the younger girl slightly towards the room. Tomoyo nodded not sure she believed him but wanting to see Sakura despite herself. She walked to the room slowly opening the door. Her eyes scanned her best friend's body; it was paler and defiantly underweight for a pregnant woman. Sakura's eyes were closed and her breathing a bit heavy. Tomoyo softly crept over to the chair placed at the side of Sakura's bed obviously previously been occupied by Syaoran. She ran her fingers into Sakura's honey brown hair twisting the locks gently between her fingers. Sakura opened her eyes slightly smiling deeply when she caught sight of her best friend. 

"How are you feeling?" Tomoyo asked softly smiling back. 

"Alright considering." Sakura answered pulling herself into a seating position despite Tomoyo's protests. 

"God Sakura a baby… congratulations. I know how bad you've always wanted one." Tomoyo whispered meaning every word. 

"I know the circumstances might not make this a joyous occasion… but I know I can do this… and you know I have to do this right? I mean your ok with this? You and Syaoran?" Sakura stumbled suddenly feeling self conscious. She knew this was especially hard but she couldn't just turn her head. 

"Of course Sakura… you know we both support you in whatever you decide." Tomoyo replied squeezing her hand in reassurance. 

"I know this is dangerous… but if I give up this baby… and I die anyways… what good would any of it have done… there are no guarantees you know… At least this way we both have a shot." Sakura explained trying to justify her own thought process. 

"I understand completely Sakura… and if I were in the same position… I think I'd do the same, and Syaoran understands all this as well. Why do you think we agreed in the first place? And you know you can always count on both of us to support you." Tomoyo reassured. 

"Thank you." Sakura said the two hugging. A comfortable silence fell upon them as they each studied the other. Sakura noticed dark circles under Tomoyo's eyes and many other signs of fatigue. Guilt immediately went through Sakura as she wondered if like Syaoran; Tomoyo had stayed the whole time and forgotten to sleep. She wondered why Chris wasn't able to persuade her to take a rest, she always seemed to listen to him, and surely he wouldn't have let her go this long without a proper amount of rest. Sakura thought for a few minutes coming to the realization that she hadn't even seen Chris in a while, she wondered if the American had been working this whole time. 

"Where is Chris anyways?" Sakura voiced her thoughts. 

"Like I would know." Tomoyo snorted without thinking, she quickly realized her mistake when Sakura gave her a look. "I mean he's most likely working." Tomoyo answered again trying to cover her mistake. 

"Don't think your getting out of this one! Just because I'm in the hospital doesn't mean you don't tell me your problems anymore." Sakura demanded firmly. 

"It's nothing really." Tomoyo shrugged softly suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting. 

"Oh really? Come on Tomoyo?" Sakura urged now truly knowing something bad must of happen. What a time for it to. 

"I just… I found out what he did to you… how he lied to you… to both of us… and and I broke it off." Tomoyo explained pushing back her tears. Since this whole ordeal had started she hadn't really been given a chance to deal with this, not that she was sure she was ready to deal. "You know it's just a shock… I thought this time maybe it would be forever you know… but all this time… he's just been been lying." Tomoyo stated a tear escaping her eye. She quickly wiped it away not wanting to break down at a time like this. "God here I am crying when you have serious problems, I'm such a baby." Tomoyo sighed rubbing at her eyes even more only succeeding in reddening them. 

"You're not a baby." Sakura replied gently pushing her hands away from her face. "And its ok to cry… god knows I've done my share of that… Its hard to lose someone you love..." Sakura comforted letting Tomoyo lie her head down on her chest. Tomoyo let the frustration that had been bottled up out, she never knew how Sakura did it, but she was the only one he could get her to open up like this. 

Sakura let Tomoyo cry until she had no more tears left, she gently rubbed her back in a soothing manor. 

"Tomoyo… we all make mistakes." Sakura stated when her sobbing had finally quieted a bit. Tomoyo looked up a bit shocked at what she was hearing. 

"Sakura he ruined your life!" Tomoyo started but was stopped before she could go on. 

"Chris is a good guy. He must have had a reason Tomoyo… did you even give him a chance?" Sakura questioned knowing her friend most likely hadn't given Chris a chance to explain, she cared too much about her friends. Tomoyo's lack of answer only conformed Sakura's thoughts. 

"Listen Tomoyo he made a mistake… and if I know Chris he's probably beating himself up over it as well. We all make mistakes and I know he must have had a reason, so for that I can't blame him." Sakura explained trying to reason with Tomoyo. 

"God Sakura your amazing… how how can you be so selfless?" Tomoyo wondered truly amazed, she had been furious when she had discovered what he had done, yet Sakura hadn't even been angered. 

"Well I admit that I certainly am not happy it happened, but the past is the past right? And Tomoyo if you think he's the one… then isn't it worth it to at least try. I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about, god losing Syaoran was so hard you know? So… if you think that despite this occurrence you guys could have truly been happy then will you at least try… for me." Sakura pleaded she wanted her best friend to be happy desperately. If she didn't make it out of this she knew Tomoyo would need someone to lean on, and Chris would make sure she got through the ordeal one way or another. 

"It's hard Sakura… but… I'll at least talk to him." Tomoyo answered, Sakura nodded knowing that that was the best she would get for now, she could only hope the two would be able to patch this up, but if they were truly meant to be she believe they would be ok. 

Syaoran yawned tiredly, he really was exhausted, and he couldn't wait to go curl up in bed with Sakura. His vision blurred a bit and he rubbed his eyes trying to get them to focus. 

"God it's been a long day." He muttered. 

"Xiao Lang!" Syaoran glanced up as his named was shouted. He blinked several times believing his eyes were playing tricks on him. There in front of him stood his sister, that couldn't be though she was still in China, she couldn't be here. 

"Dam I'm delusional now." Syaoran muttered again. 

"Your not, god Xiao Lang I've missed you!" Leena exclaimed hugging her brother tightly. As the warmth of her hug trailed up his body he quickly realized that she indeed wasn't an illusion. 

"Leena! What what are you doing here?!" Syaoran exclaimed worriedly, it wasn't that he didn't want to see his sister, but with her presence meant something was terribly wrong. When he had first left they had been very precise on not making contact so that it couldn't be used against them, despite how much he wanted to talk to his sister, he had held strong knowing what would happen if he didn't. But if his sister was breaking her own enforced rule then something was definitely wrong. "What's going on Leena?" He urged feeling his sister grip tighten around him; she looked up into his eyes tears trailing down her cheeks. 

"Oh Xiao Lang I've tried to talk sense into her! I've tried so hard, but she just won't listen! She won't reason! She's intent on having you come home! And and I can't keep her away." Leena answered out in a jumble trying to convey her emotions to him. 

"It's ok." Syaoran soothed rubbing his temples; he certainly didn't need this on his plate as well. He wasn't sure if he could handle his mother at a time like this, the stress was starting to really pile up. 

"Xiao Lang, its time to stop this nonsense, and come home." Syaoran looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway in all her glory, her presence demanding his attention right away. Syaoran knew his mother could scare men twice his age with just a look, but he refused to take that bait. 

"Mother." Syaoran stated simple realizing that the next battle would decide the fate of his life. 

~~Siberian~~


	15. Discomfiting Silences

Author's notes: Well it's been a while yet again. Heh schools been crazy… and after a looong stressful week of mcas *which is stupid testing that I have to pass in order to graduate grrrr* I decided to unwind by writing, plus I had some extra time considering I skipped hell today ^ ^ hehe… anyways hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to all the viewers! 

_ **"A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words."**_

**_Rachel Naomi Remen_**

"Mother… what are you doing here?" Syaoran questioned resignedly. It had been and extremely long week of events and he certainly didn't want to deal with this right now. 

"It's time to stop this nonsense. It's time to take your rightful place at the head of the Li family in China Xiao Lang. It's time to stop playing these silly games." Li-san stated firmly her eyes flaring with the same intensity that was often mirrored in her son's own eyes. 

"Nonsense? Games?" Syaoran clinched his fist in attempt to cool his temper; this was no place to start a big fight. "This is my life for god sakes!" He exclaimed in anger, the people around them glanced their way at the outburst. 

"This isn't your life! You don't belong among these common people. Xiao Lang this was never your destiny. Your fate is to lead the Li-Clan into greatness!" Li-san yelled back with just as much passion. 

"Doesn't it even matter what I want?" Syaoran questioned lowering his voice a bit. He really didn't want to be arguing about this, of all places in a hospital, but he knew that neither of them would back down, so it couldn't be helped. 

"This is what you want hunny. You just don't know it yet, but you'll see." 

"No mother… it was never what I wanted! It was always what you wanted, and when I was a child I played along with it. I went off on the elder's journey to reclaim the Clow Cards. I shunned away the true Clow Mistress even when my heart told me not to, because that's what the clan wanted. Hell I even came back for a time, and then you erased my memory taking me away from the only person I want to spend my life with! You've hurt her in ways you can't even comprehend. I've lost so much time with her because of the clan's petty games! Now she's pregnant and might be dying and you pull this on me!! This is it mother! I won't take it anymore; I no longer want to be the next head! I renounce my position! I don't even want to be a part of the clan anymore!" Syaoran shouted the irritation hammering out of him. He clenched his jaw trying to calm down and restrain from a further outburst. 

"Xiao Lang… you you don't know what you're saying... this is your destiny you can't throw it away just like that." Li-san replied shocked at her son's renouncement she couldn't believe he would just give up on their family. 

"Mother… you haven't even heard a word I've said have you." Syaoran answered sadly, he closed his eyes sighing as his muscles became less tense. 

"Of course I have… and I don't understand." Li-san replied confusion over taking her. 

"Yes you heard the part about me renouncing my position which you know is very well possible… so don't even tell me I can't do it. The fact that you didn't hear that the woman I love is pregnant and in jeopardy… or is it you don't care?"

"Syaoran…" 

"Goodbye mother." Syaoran walked briskly past his mother towards the door. He walked outside into the pouring rain without even a glance behind towards the family he was leaving behind. Li-san was shocked her limbs wouldn't obey her commands. She couldn't bring herself to move at all as her only son walked out the door, and she had a feeling it was for good this time. 

******

Tomoyo sighed to herself running apprehensive fingers threw her long hair. She desperately wanted to talk to Chris, but she was uncertain if they could rekindle what they once had. Their relationship meant a lot to her, but her relationship with Sakura meant just as much. The fact was though Sakura wasn't blaming Chris, even though it was eighty percent his fault that this all happened as far as she was concerned. But if Sakura wasn't holding a grudge then was there really reason for Tomoyo herself to hold one. After all it wasn't her that he had hurt, and he hadn't known they were friends at the time. Despite their short time apart she missed him terrible, just a few days had felt likes years, but how could she trust him again. 

Tomoyo was ripped from her thoughts as one of the hospital doors flung open knocking her to the side. She tripped and banged her head against the white sterile walls. 

"Oh geez I'm so sorry… Tomoyo…" Chris exclaimed in surprise. He hadn't seen anyone on the other side of the door. "Are you ok?" He questioned taking a chance to run his finger lightly over the small bump that was forming on her temple. 

"Yea… it wasn't your fault… I shouldn't have been standing there." Tomoyo answered letting herself enjoy the caress for a few minutes before she pulled back. 

"Still… I'm sorry." Chris answered as she pulled away.

"I know…" A few minutes went by of uncomfortable silence, neither knowing what to say to the other. 

"Well I guess… I'll see you around." Chris stated moving past Tomoyo hurriedly, to continue with his work. 

"Chris wait!" Tomoyo exclaimed grabbing onto his wrist. "We we… need to talk." She whispered knowing that this, her love, was definitely worth any risks. "Can you take a break?" She inquired hoping he'd be willing to speak with her. 

"Yea sure… we can umm go into the break room… there's usually no one in there." Chris replied leading Tomoyo to the room he had gestured to. Another awkward silence fell upon them as neither could start. Chris scuffed his foot a bit against the floor in nervousness. "So you wanted to talk." He finally began knowing she wasn't likely to start. 

"Yes.. Chris… I want you to know that what you did was inexcusable… you just don't know how much you hurt Sakura and Syaoran." Tomoyo started needing to get this out. 

"I know I know… it kills me inside that I messed up so awfully, that I hurt two people that I care about this badly. I… I never wanted that to happen, but my career was at risk… and I just wasn't thinking correctly, I should have never never… Oh Tomoyo I've missed you so much, and I know I don't deserve you not by a long shot… but…" Chris interrupted trying to make sense of the emotions running rapid inside him. He never meant to hurt anyone and it was eating him up that he had. 

"Shhh…" Tomoyo whispered placing a finger on his lips to silence him. "Despite… everything… Sakura's sick… and she might not make it… and it's made me realize life is too short to let anger rule it… Chris I want to work through this… I love you to much to let this go." Tomoyo replied softly letting her hands stroke her lover's cheek. 

"I love you." Chris answered kissing her softly. She closed her eyes opening her mouth to let his tongue slide into her warmth. 

"I love you two… we will make it through this." The two joined hands making time for them both to heal. 

******

"Is this what you wanted?! huh? Is it!!!" Leena exclaimed anger overcoming her. "He he doesn't even want to be a part of the family anymore! And who can blame him after all the manipulation he's been through!" 

"This isn't what I wanted and you know that" Li-san snapped back finally regaining her senses. She was still bewildered though how she just lost her son. 

"How does it feel mother… to drive away your only son?" Leena hissed, she was angry that Syaoran had been hurt as much as he had. She knew their mother couldn't see it, but his eyes had shined with a dreadful distress and what looked like defeat. Li-san was unable to reply, she knew she had blown it, and there was really nothing left for her here. Her son would no doubt never come back to China; she finally saw how serious he was. 

"I'm going home." She stated firmly heading for the door that Syaoran had fled from before. Leena followed her a few minutes after she had left the building. She stepped outside rain instantly soaking her silky skin. She brushed her hair back as it clung to her face. Leena could see Li-san's form walking vigorously to their transportation; she was about to join her when she caught a glimpse of another form to her right. She immediately recognized it as her brother. 

"Xiao Lang… are you ok?" She questioned hesitantly. She was unable to see his face as he was stared at the ground in lost contemplation. He didn't reply which made her realize he hadn't even heard her. Leena knew he was so deep in his thoughts that the surrounding world was just a blur to him. She walked closer to him gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "Xiao Lang?" 

"Leena." He choked finally lifting his gaze from the ground; his eyes were lined with tear tracks mixed with rain. 

"Oh hunny." Leena whispered bringing him into a hug. He sobbed into her chest clutching tightly to her embrace. 

"Everything's falling apart… I've never really cared about being the head… it's always just been there…" Syaoran started Leena's shirt slightly muffling his voice. "And I will do anything to be with Sakura… god I don't even know if she's going to survive this pregnancy. How do I fix this?" 

"All you can do is give her your love, your support, and your strength. From what I've heard the Clow Mistress is an extremely strong woman, she won't be taken away without a fight. Life is always uncertain especially about the things we really care about, nothing is ever simple. You will get through it though, you just have to believe in both of your strength, because believe me you guys are the strongest people I know." Leena replied running her fingers through his shaggy brown locks comforting. 

"I know your right it's just hard…" Syaoran replied wiping away the rest of his tears. 

"It always is." 

"Are you going back to China with mother?" Syaoran questioned longingly. He didn't really want his sister to leave, but to stay would mean renouncement from the family for her as well. He couldn't ask that of her, she had already done so much for him. 

"Of course not… at least not right now… there's nothing there for me… but here I have a sister in-law who is going to need another woman around who's been through this kind of of thing, and sorry Syaoran you just don't have that type of experience." Leena replied comfortingly. 

"Are you sure? I mean you might be outcast as well…" Syaoran stated not wanting his sister to come to resent him because of this.

"It doesn't matter… now come on lets get out of this rain." Leena wrapped an arm around his shoulder as the two headed for the door. 

Li-san sat in her car watching her only son and daughter walk into the hospital together. She knew now she had not only lost her son, but her daughter as well. A sense of sorrow overwhelmed her as she held back tears. She had always tried to be a good mother, her own upbringing making her harden and strict. She loved her children and despite her actions she just wanted what was best for them. 

"Drive." She instructed turning away from the hospital. 

"What about..?" The driver started.

"She's not coming back." Li-san stated and the driver nodded confusingly as he started up the car. As they drove away from the hospital, Li-San vowed to never step in or near a hospital ever again. She had not only lost her husband in one, but now two of her children. It was a mournful day for her and she knew that things would never been the same again. 

~~Siberian~~


	16. Renewed Fighter

Author's Notes: I managed to update! Wow! And it would have been up sooner if ff.net would actually work for more then 2 days at a time… I swear ever since they got rid of nc-17 fics they've gone down hill. But anyways enough about that… I must sneak this in before you continue to read… my current obsession is the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. OMG I swear it's the best movie I've ever seen, if you haven't seen it I strongly suggest you do so! Johnny depps performance is just stunning. Alright now that I got that out of the way… continue! And enjoy! And as always thanks all you reviewers!!! 

To love is to know the sacrifices which eternity exacts from life 

--John Oliver Hobbes School for Saints

Sakura sighed softly tracing elegant raindrops as they danced upon her window pane. The sky outside burst with tears as thunder and lightening streaked through the heavens. She didn't dear shift from her perch, her muscles already screaming from the strain. Sakura couldn't seem to move much at all without someone's help these days. Every muscle in her body protested whenever she wanted to use them. She always felt terrible weak and her once rosy skin was getting paler by the day. Honestly she thought pregnancy wouldn't be like this, half the time she was bedridden, and the other half she was in the bathroom. She rubbed her swollen belly softly sighing once more. 

"I wouldn't give it up for the world though little one." She whispered softly tracing soft ticklish circles on her belly. It was the truth to, even though she was weak and sick she wouldn't give this up. She wanted this child more then life itself, and she was willing to go through anything the heavens threw at her for it.

Sakura wondered silently if this is what all pregnancies were like, but she already knew the answer. The cancer was making it extremely difficult; most women could at least keep their dinner down for the child to absorb. For herself it was extremely hard to keep any meal down no matter how hard she tried. The doctors had almost violently insisted that she stay in the hospital for this, but she would have none of that. She didn't want to be stuck in the hospital for her pregnancy; she argued that it would be better for both of them if she was in the comfort of her own home. Despite Syaoran's reluctance on the subject she had ended up winning the argument, with a stern warning that she needed to be monitored by a loved one at all times, and that tests needed to be performed at least every two weeks. They were all very tedious tasks, but she performed them without a fuss. 

"I would have helped you if you had told me you wanted to sit by the window." Syaoran stated in the doorway with a steaming bowl of something that actually smelt quite delicious to Sakura. Every time Syaoran cooked something for her, her stomach would turn at any thought of consuming it. Not that Syaoran was a bad cook or anything, just the thought of food lately made her sick. She was pleasantly surprised to find that the smell of whatever Syaoran had cooked was making her actually crave food, which hadn't happened all throughout her pregnancy.

"I know love, but you were cooking." Sakura answered patting the spot next to her. 

"I would have come back." He replied again wishing she wouldn't strain herself. He sat down next to her, tangling his unoccupied hand in her soft hair. "Are you hungry?" He questioned deciding to drop the subject, he knew his love was very independent and it was hard enough for her to have to be monitored constantly. 

"I am more hungry then usual." She smiled softly at him taking the noodles from his hands. 

"Its all we had downstairs, Leena went out to buy more food, but she hasn't returned yet." Syaoran explained not sure if the noodles would agree with her today. 

"It smells really good." Sakura replied taking a small bite, she continued to eat while Syaoran looked after her. She was full after a few bites her stomach already starting to turn at the thought of eating more. She continued to eat until at least half was gone knowing the baby needed as much food as she could possibly handle. 

"How are you feeling today?" Syaoran asked as she put the rest of the noodles to the side. 

"Alright, tired." She answered pulling Syaoran closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist burying his face in her hair. 

"Do you want to rest?" 

"I suppose I should." She responded as Syaoran helped her to her feet. Her muscles again screamed at the movement, but she didn't dare show it in fear of worrying Syaoran even more. She was concerned about her beloved, dark circles dawned around his beautiful eyes. Worry lines were beginning to be a permanent feature on sun kissed skin. Sometimes he looked more tired then herself, and this frightened her most of all. She wished he would sleep at night but she knew half the night he was up watching over her. This was one of the reasons she agreed to take so many naps, in hopes that as they cuddled he to would get a bit of sleep. 

Syaoran pulled Sakura close to his chest placing gentle fingertips on her tummy. He rubbed it softly making Sakura purr in contentment. 

"I love you with all my heart." She whispered closing her eyes as his hands lulled her to sleep. 

"And I love you even more." He answered his own eyes closing to join her in dreamland. 

Kero peeked in through the door watching the two cuddle sleeping peacefully. He was worried, about both of them infact, although he would never admit to being troubled about the gaki. They both looked like neither had gotten a good nights sleep in ages, and he knew it was true. This was actually the first time he had seen them both sleeping at the same time. 

"Are they sleeping?" Kero jumped at the voice behind him. He glanced back seeing Leena had entered with a handful of groceries. After the catastrophe with Syaoran's mother Leena had opted to stay and help the couple out, which everyone was extremely grateful of. She made sure the groceries were stocked, that doctor's appointments were kept, that Syaoran didn't starve himself while he kept Sakura as healthy as possible. 

"Yeah they both are." Kero replied suddenly fluttering away from their door. He noticed she was soaked, not one inch of her was dry. Her hair clung to her face as wet droplets of rain sputtered off her clothes. Kero shuttered at the cold she brought in the house with her.

"Good… they need it." She replied putting away what she had bought. Neither talked for a few minutes each seeming to be dwelling in their own worlds. "Kero…?" Leena started waiting to get the guardians attention. 

"Yes…?" Kero questioned waiting for the woman to go on with her thoughts. 

"Well I've been thinking… about the Sakura cards…" Leena started as the guardian sat himself on the counter. 

"I know… they need to be sealed away into the book…" Kero answered already catching onto where she was heading with this. 

"I thought as much." Leena replied sadly. 

"I know I know… they draw energy from their mistress… and with this sickness she needs all her energy. I've been checking on the cards regularly, and they aren't starving yet, but they aren't getting as much as normally." Kero explained the situation. 

"How long do we have then?" 

"I think we should seal the cards away before they get too agitated from the lack of energy they are getting, it's just…" Kero paused looking down. 

"And what happens to you?" Leena asked scratching the back of his ear softly. 

"The cards need at least one guardian or else they won't stay sealed in the book. They don't feel safe and they will spread across the world and wreak havoc. So… I'll have to be sealed away as well… that's why I've been putting it off… I just… I know I'm being selfish… but…" 

"Oh Kero it's not selfish… anyone in your situation would feel the same way." Leena explained smiling softly at the guardian. "Besides it will only be until the pregnancy is over and Sakura's all better, then you will be released" 

"Right…. Of course…" Kero replied the melancholy in Kero's tone making Leena's heart ache. "I just wish I could be here for Sakura… but I have my duties." 

"Sakura will miss you for sure… and so will I and even Syaoran, but you'll be here in spirit. We know you'll be watching over us as well as the cards eh? After all you are the one and only amazing guardian beast of the seal!"

"You better believe it!" Kero piped up at her compliments. 

"And I just so happen to come upon this in my grocery shopping oh amazing guardian beast." Leena stated slyly as she pulled something out of one of the grocery bags. Kero's eyes lit up in delight as he snatched it from her hand. 

"Pudding Pudding Pudding!" He exclaimed wildly as he fluttered out of the room to attack his wonderful treat. Leena laughed at his antics softly, turning her head back and forth. 

"Better get the rest of these put away." She stated to herself going back to her work.

"I never even thought about what this would do to the cards." Sakura stated from the doorway. Leena turned around quickly not having heard anyone enter. She just nearly missed bumping her head on a cabinet, which she was thankful she avoided. 

"Sakura what are you doing? I thought you were sleeping." Leena stated pulling out a kitchen chair and helping her to sit down. 

"I'm not very tired today… but I wanted Syaoran to get some rest." Sakura explained. Leena nodded in acknowledgement knowing that both of them were worried over Syaoran. 

"Well you should get some rest as well…" 

"It's not fair…" Sakura started barely audible. 

"What isn't?" Leena asked worried Sakura was going into depression over her sickness; she knew one of the key elements to survival on these kinds of things was hope. If you lost the will to live then there was no point in even trying to beat the illness. 

"It isn't fair to the cards… I mean they have every right to get angry at me… I'm going to have to seal them away… it's just not fair to them…" Sakura stated almost making Leena laugh a bit, of course Sakura would get down about something being unfair to someone else. 

"Oh Sakura… you are their mistress and their first allegiance is to you and only you… Sakura they will understand that for your survival they have to be sealed in their book for a bit. After all it's not like your doing it for no reason." Leena tried to reason. 

"Yes I know… it's just not fair… I never realized this would be so hard… Leena but this child means the world to me… I can't give up on it!" Sakura stated a tear drifting down her cheek. All her frustration was building up inside her, and the last thing she wanted to do was put more worry on everyone. 

"Sakura… I told Syaoran that anything worth having is always what you have to fight for. But look at how far you've come, you and Syaoran have gone through so much together, apart… and you've come out better then you were before. This will be no different, don't give up hope and keep fighting. For Syaoran, for your child, and most of all for yourself." Leena stated with a fierce fire in her eyes that Sakura had only seen in the Li family. Leena wrapped a friendly arm around Sakura to give her some comfort, which seemed to give Sakura the very thing she needed. 

"Yes I will not stop fighting." Sakura agreed with renewed assurance. This child would be born healthy and would grow up with all the love in the world. Sakura was sure of this fact, more sure of this then anything. She would make sure this happened no matter what the outcome of the cancer was. This child would live a long, happy, fulfilled life. 

"I think I'll go back and rest." Sakura stated getting up slowly. 

"Do you need any help?" 

"No… it's not that long a walk." Sakura answered a small smile formed on her lips as she moved to the bedroom. As she entered she was thankful that Syaoran still was asleep. The pillow she had replaced her body with still tucked snugly in his arms. She sighed contently placing her body softly on the bed. She carefully removed the pillow from his arms and they instantly sought something else to wrap around. They curled around her waist bringing her to his chest. Sakura ran gentle fingers up the length of Syaoran's bare arm. She breathed in the deep sent that was uniquely Syaoran, and vowed to keeping fighting, for everyone and everything she loved. 

~~Siberian… although I'm gonna go for a name change as soon as ff.net lets me… due to the fact that they added a stupid one next to my name?!?!?!~~


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